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Diaper Rash

 Everyone has a thought about diaper rash. The doctor likes Desitin mixed with Cortisone.


Nurse Steffi thinks Desitin is whack; she thinks it's the Emperor's New Clothes. She swears by Lotrimin-mixed-with-cornstarch.

The Internet says cornstarch can damage your child. But what about a mix of Desitin-Lotrimin-Neosporin?

When I see neighbors, we just list ailments; verbs have dropped out of the conversation. "Hey. Pinkeye." "Aha. Strep over here." "Two ear infections, and then all the tummy stuff from the amoxicillin."

Meanwhile, my doctor wants me to get new Hep B shots--because I was (perhaps) immunocompromised in infancy--and now, any day, I might find myself accidentally shtupping a guy with Hep B. Or my husband could be in a kind of secret Hep B sex ring--and I know nothing about it--and then the innocent bystander becomes collateral damage. (Actually, all of this is sort of exciting to me, and it makes me think about Tyler Perry movies.)

On a positive note, my dog is healthy, and he seems to have lost weight. This is what the babysitter says. Salvy has another "weigh-in"--somewhere on the horizon.

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