Liars and Saints

 "Mother Simpson" has a terrific mystery plot: The Simpson children must reconstruct Mona's past even as events in the present become distracting. Mona's elaborate story spills out. But the core of the episode is how Homer relates to his mother. Homer is mortified to ruin a tender moment after a hyperactive fish falls from the sky and lands in his underpants. Mona (appropriately) soothes Homer. Later, Mona tries to have a serious conversation with Lisa while occasionally reassuring Homer that his cartwheels are "very impressive." A detail I love is that Mona uses the word "rapport" with Lisa. Lisa doesn't bother to brag that she knows what the word means. Instead, she expresses her delight that Mona--unlike so many other adults--has not tried to condescend to Lisa by searching for a monosyllabic synonym. Condescension is belittling *both* to the teacher *and* to the student. Of course Lisa would understand this. Finally, the episode carries its...

  One of my favorite movies this year was "Wake Up Dead Man"; it's exuberant and inventive. It borrows from P.D. James--with the writer having recognized that a "faith community" is an ideal setting for a murder story. It reimagines Donald Trump as a hate-filled minister; Steve Bannon becomes a young man (Cy) with an interest in TikTok and a lust for power. "Dead Man" also allows Glenn Close to have fun. She throws tantrums. She has long passages of breathy voice-over narration. She is even a part of a "dick joke." The reason I *really* love Rian Johnson is that I share his interest in subtext. Again and again, he is focused on all that goes unsaid. In a brilliant early scene, the Trumpian priest, Monsignor Wicks, asks to have his confession heard. But--really--he wants to intimidate the young man who is under his thumb. "I masturbated four times this week....once, in the shower, standing up....Once, I was unprepared, so I had to finish ...

 I recently had a bad experience working with an "admissions consultation" group. Every time my student would submit a piece, a shadowy group of judges would meet in secret to rip it apart. There seemed to be an unpublished list of rules for writing--and though I didn't have access to this list, I was somehow meant to intuit the gist of the list, and when my magical powers of intuition failed, I (clearly) became a source of extreme irritation. Once, my student generated a series of questions she had about her future. This was trashed because "rhetorical questions are exhausting for the reader." Another time, my student was asked to design a research project about a topic that interested her. She answered this in an honest way. This was trashed because "a college doesn't want an answer that has a liberal-arts tone. The research project should have an obvious pre-professional thrust. If the student doesn't know what her ultimate career goal is, she sh...

 Billy Wilder told Sondheim: "Don't make SUNSET BOULEVARD into a musical. That movie needs to be an opera." Sondheim listened. But Andrew Lloyd Webber thought: "I can write a pseudo-opera." Buzz around ALW's SUNSET BOULEVARD was strong: People were saying, This is the female PHANTOM . Patti LuPone signed on for London, but the contract said someone else could do the role in Los Angeles. When LuPone learned of Glenn Close's casting, she (allegedly) said: "Glenn Close? She brays like a donkey. They call her George Washington because--in profile--her nose actually meets her chin." (LuPone denies this story, but the source says, How could *I* come up with insults like that ?) Glenn Close did everything right; Meryl Streep would hang out in the shadows of the theater. (Maybe Meryl eventually recognized that this part would always belong to Glenn, even in the hypothetical film version of the musical.) Elaine Paige heard an early draft and said: ...

 We could talk about Amy Barrett, or we could be frivolous. Sometimes, frivolity is therapeutic. A thought. My top three stories this week: (1) "Ratched" and "Fargo: Season Four" both seem to be dead on arrival. Ah, well. (2) Promoting "Ratched," Cynthia Nixon appeared on TV with Sharon Stone. The fabled "SATC III" script came up. This script is so great, people can't just let it go. "I think Sharon Stone would make a fabulous Samantha," said one viewer. Stone became excited. Shrewd Cynthia Nixon cleared her throat. "That would be wonderful," she said. "But Kim Cattrall has made clear that she would like a person of color in the role." And indeed: Kim has mentioned both Oprah and Tiffany Haddish. Stay tuned. (3) Michael Riedel's theater book, "Singular Sensation," will come out in November. This will chronicle the drama of Broadway in the 1990s. To prepare, I've dug up "Variety" review...

  My husband and I have spent our Covid months rewatching the Glenn Close vehicle "Damages." (Spoiler alert.) This is a show where Glenn Close is a crusading lawyer, but she's also not what she seems: She is herself a bully, even though she makes money by fighting bullies. Rose Byrne is her young helper; through fighting Glenn, Byrne's character becomes strong, but perhaps she becomes "too" strong, perhaps she herself becomes a bully. Over five seasons, the ladies wear many daring frocks--sleeveless sweaters, sweater-coats, snow-white "Nehru" jackets, pin-stripe suits, exquisitely-tailored cardigans. And their hair changes. Long, "natural" hair means you have abandoned Manhattan to become a virtuous stay-at-home mom. Spiky "Devil Wears Prada" hair means you have embraced ambition and lost your moral compass. (The show was written by three men, and the men really ought to have consulted with female colleagues now and then. As I r...

The greatest season of any TV show in all of history is the first season of Glenn Close's "Damages." This is like a haunted-house tale. Our avatar, Ellen (Rose Byrne), arrives at the chamber of secrets. Patty, Glenn Close, has hired Ellen. There is a major legal case, involving multiple murders. Patty herself might be capable of murder. She might try to murder Ellen. Ellen feels deep ambivalence toward Patty--and it's the same ambivalence that we feel, in the audience. We recognize that Patty is a terrible person. At the same time, we want to spend more and more hours with her, because she is brilliant and charismatic; she is Glenn Close! The main story is: Will Ellen succumb? Will she go to the Dark Side? Will she become another Patty? As she wrestles with her job, she displays a fair amount of Glenn-Close-sparked "fire"; she has much more chemistry with Close's character than with her ostensible fiance. (The murder of the fiance is almost ...

A few things transpired and pushed me to start a diary recently. It was necessary to note when my baby was eating, and in what quantities, and the habit of logging all that led me to start thinking. Also, I was remembering Glenn Close's mother. Apparently, when this person was dying, she said to her daughter--to Glenn--"I didn't do anything with my life." And, also, because of paternity leave, I just had a great deal of time on my hands. Because I like rules, and especially arbitrary rules, I decided that each entry had to fill two pages. Thoughts could be as banal as: "The sky is blue." I would try to include some observations about the baby every morning. The writing is really bad; it's sometimes as dull as dishwater; it's often just sentence fragments. But a great deal is growing out of it. When I keep a diary, I remind myself of things I need to do. Writing a diary somehow led me to recall that my child didn't have a Halloween costu...

"The Wife" was mediocre, and Glenn Close was fine, but I'M OK WITH LIFETIME ACHIEVEMENT AWARDS. Think of Glenn's impending Oscar win as a lifetime achievement compensatory gesture. And so it's time to revisit my favorite Glenn trivia: * Glenn helped in one of history's most famous COMPENSATORY GESTURE events. I'm talking about Jeremy Irons's win for "Reversal of Fortune." Mr. Irons was OK in that sort-of-undistinguished movie, but he really deserved the Oscar for his work one year prior--his work in "Dead Ringers." Overlook the man for "Dead Ringers"? Hand him an Oscar for "Reversal of Fortune." Who assisted Mr. Irons in "Reversal"? That's right. Creepy Glenn Close. * When did Glenn deserve to win? For "Fatal Attraction," obviously. Not that year? Then hand it to her for "Dangerous Liaisons." Good grief. She doesn't really deserve the prize this year; the rightful winner ...

Close's next movie, "The Wife," comes out this Friday. There is Oscar buzz. When that happens so early in the season, I worry. Once upon a time, everyone seemed really, really certain that Sally Hawkins would win the Oscar for "The Shape of Water." -Ms. Close is the living person most-nominated for Oscars who has never actually won the Oscar. She does share this record with (dead) Deborah Kerr, who was so enchanting in "Bonjour Tristesse." If Close doesn't win for "The Wife," she will charge ahead with her film adaptation of ALW's adaptation of "Sunset Boulevard," and this, to me, seems to be a good strategy. As Ms. Close has observed, she has been in "this business" for over 40 years. The lady is tough; she has stamina. I want her to campaign, campaign, campaign. -Everything Ms. Close says is brilliant and scintillating, all the time. In a recent issue of "People," she was effortlessly captivating. S...