Liars and Saints

  Lena Dunham reminds me of Amy Winehouse. You listen to a tape of the pre-adolescent Winehouse, and the voice is already there--the talent is undeniable. And Dunham's major movie--"Tiny Furniture," essentially the work of an undergraduate--is a masterful comedy. It's the kind of thing that earns you random emails from Nora Ephron. (Ephron lobbied for Lena Dunham's company.) Amy Winehouse didn't want fame; she wanted to be a jazz singer in tiny nightclubs. Lena Dunahm didn't want fame; she wanted to express herself. The early years of "Girls" are a horror story. Dunham teams up with a "friend," a substantially older woman, Jenni Konner. Instead of mentoring Dunham, Konner views her child-colleague as a kind of meal ticket. In the first season, Dunham begins to show signs of disordered eating. Konner does not offer help. She approaches Dunham and says, "The producers are worried that your weight seems too normal. The show doesn'...

 My spouse and I knew nothing about colors; we thought a reasonable choice for the exterior of the house was red. "No," said the contractor. She doesn't mince words. "You do not live in a farmhouse. Choose again." I think our next dream was to live in a sleek charcoal box--of the style that Bosch uses in the show "Bosch." We were inspired by the concept of the "upside-down house" in Los Angeles. You enter the house--it's the kitchen. Then you walk *down* stairs to reach various basement bedrooms. "No," said the contractor. "That is not your house. Think light and bright . Think about sea foam, yellow, or green." Combining yellow and green immediately made me daydream about jaundice. Or stomach viruses. Did I want the house to resemble the face of a sick person? I had not imagined that this would be quite such a process. I wish I had entered the discussions with less impetuousness and more humility (and this is the stor...

  In 2006, GLAAD listed "all" of the gay characters on TV--but omitted Waylon Smithers from the list. (This error was corrected in 2008.) Smithers is not the star of "Burns' Heir," but his role is notable. We first see him giving a sponge bath to Burns--Burns complains that the sponge in question "has sharp corners." In his crazed wish to please Burns, Smithers forgets himself. He has an idea to find a better sponge--but he hastily leaves the *offending* sponge on Burns' head. The weight of the square sponge almost causes a drowning episode. It's this near-death experience that inspires Burns to search for an heir. ("It won't be you, Smithers, because you will have the honor of being buried alive *next to* my skeleton.") It's a sign of Smithers' deep devotion that he tolerates the indignity of the "heir contest." In the climactic moments of the show, Smithers watches in horror as Burns tumbles into a deep pit (a ...

  An element of Gothic storytelling is "the inexplicable." A shape in the doorway might be a vampire--or it might be just an odd effect of lighting. I love this uncertainty--it's maybe the thing that I love *most* in storytelling. I love it in true crime, as well; I almost feel deflated when a crime is actually solved. One of my favorite stories--about the DC townhouse--has three men conspiring to murder a friend. The friends claim they are innocent--but the facts suggest that this is almost impossible. But if they *are* guilty, then they are living (year after year!) with a terrible secret. This seems (additionally) impossible--at least to me. Patrick Radden Keefe is part of a dying breed--the breed of "the star journalist." His golden era began with "Say Nothing," in which he described a cold case from Ireland's troubled history. At the end of the book, he actually solved the case. He presented a hypothesis that seemed more or less airtight. He f...

 I was raised on Celine Dion; her work inspires a special mixture of reverence and disdain. I think her most questionable move was to release a song called "I'm Alive" shortly after the devastation of 9/11. If this was meant as a tribute to victims of 9/11, it was difficult not to hear an *implied* title: "I'm Alive---and You Are Not." I did not see Marla Mindelle in "Titanique"--I saw Dee Roscioli in the off-Broadway version. This was a special night for me; some kind of Kansas City Chiefs game was occurring, and I did not have to watch. I sat among many other gay people--also, oddly, the Broadway performer Eva Noblezada--and I enjoyed seeing a heavyset man in the role of Frances Fisher (mother of "Rose" on the Titanic). This man flirted with me and tried to sit on my lap. Marla Mindelle has all of my love. I watch her clips regularly. Among her many gifts is her incisive reading of Celine Dion's "crowd talk." Because Dion ...

  In my town, there is a great deal of virtue-signaling around coffee. There is a desire for "coffee purity," which means that you can be judged for visiting Starbucks. In fact, the workers at the rival shop, "Village Cafe," wear tee shirts that say, "Friends Don't Let Friends Drink Starbucks." (This is the closest to overt nastiness that anyone gets--anyone in Maplewood.) People were ecstatic when a new local option opened--the option was called "Elitist Coffee." It's really called that. Not "Elite Coffee," which would also be absurd. "Elitist." People wanted to pretend to love this local shop--though its hours (W-Sunday only) were bizarre, its seats were uncomfortable, and its counter was unequipped for accepting non-cash payments. This sort of situation breeds cognitive dissonance within a Maplewood citizen. The citizen wants to (loudly) proclaim his or her love for Elitist Coffee--but you can only tolerate so many ...