Liars and Saints

 It's a standard refrain--how inadequate so many doctors are, how chaotic their offices can be. I've read the explanations about being overtaxed. I empathize. As a tutor, I sometimes do not want to show up. My bedside manner can be "terse." I can be slightly--or significantly--distracted. My child's neurologist is well-intentioned, but she tends to be forty minutes late. Each time this happens, she appears stunned--as if she herself cannot believe she is so tardy. But I've stopped "buying" the act, since the lateness is now a ritual. It's like if you let your dog shit on your neighbor's garden sculpture every single morning. Eventually, your neighbor is going to suspect that your "surprised face" is just a kind of pantomime. The neurologist had a nurse call to say that my child's potassium level was high. What followed was a kind of nonsense word salad. "Maybe it's high because he didn't fast before the blood work....

 Lisa Kudrow gave an interview recently about auditioning. She said that auditions are frequently brutal for actors, because the actors are focused on the director. ("Does he like me? What does she think of me?") Kudrow's suggestion is simple: Just do the job. Forget that anyone is observing you. When I was in high school, I was puzzled by Charley's observation in "Death of a Salesman." Having sent his son to argue before the Supreme Court, Charley says, "I never cared about anything. That was my ticket to success." Now I understand what Charley means. He has removed his ego from his work. He has shown up and done his job in an efficient way--and he has used his actual mental and emotional energy to pursue his hobbies. Missteps at work have not had a seismic impact on Charley--because work is just work. Charley's sense of self-worth is not linked with the things that occur at the office. The elegant plot of "Death of a Salesman" build...

  I'm getting ready to see "Death of a Salesman" tonight--my sole source of interest is Laurie Metcalf. Recently named one of the theater actors "you must see," Metcalf is always mesmerizing. Here are my three favorite Metcalf memories: *"The Other Place." I think this was toward the start of Metcalf's Broadway reign. All I remember is that it begins with a monologue and that Metcalf's character is losing her mind. A theater actor has to command a cavernous space; there has to be a sense of "layering," a sense of mystery. I remember feeling that right away from Metcalf. She was the center of a force field--that's the only way I can describe it. *"Little Bear Ridge Road." By this point, Metcalf had become something like Broadway's Mozart. In my favorite scene, she was near comatose--she was listening to a story that her troubled nephew had written. Because she had invested so much in her character, because her perform...

 The recent Times interview put a spotlight on a Taylor Swift song I admire; this is a widely beloved song. I want you to know I'm a mirrorball-- I'll show you every version of yourself tonight. I'll get you out on the floor-- Shimmering, beautiful-- And when I break, it's in a million pieces. To me, this is notable because Taylor is speaking directly to the listener. This isn't unparalleled--but, in other settings, I tend to think of Taylor in storyteller mode, writing to "Betty," to Jake Gyllenhaal, to her mother. The idea is that a pop performer--or any public figure--is just a vessel to be used. You listen to a pop singer so that you can learn or understand something about your own life. "When I break, it's in a million pieces." The personal failures of the songwriter are a gift to the world--because the shattering yields a million pieces (a million songs). This composition is celebrated for its bridge: And they called off the circus-- Bu...

 Everyone has a colonoscopy now and then--so this is not like a report from the epicenter of 9/11. The doctor appeared to be a small child, and I liked him. He had an inelegant way of speaking. "Who knows if insurance will cover this?" he wondered aloud. "If you had a more dramatic family history--if your father were, like, dying of colon cancer, then you would be a slam dunk...." He briefly considered my small daily intake of Adderall. "I mean, you *could* ingest that before a colonoscopy....but that's like pissing into the wind...." (OK, he did not use that simile--but I *saw* the simile. I saw it in his eyes.) The unpleasant part is the waiting. I worked my way through every Christmas carol I know--then moved on to Sondheim. "Johanna," "Anyone Can Whistle," "Losing My Mind." Oscar Hammerstein. Frank Loesser. "I spend sleepless nights to think about you...." Did Sondheim think that this was an odd way of using ...

  This season of "SVU" has not been flawless, but it has mostly been delightful. Then April 23 happened. Oscar nominee Melissa McCarthy plays Jesmyn Jewell, a star on the ultimate fighter circuit. I'm pretty sure that most--if not all--of McCarthy's lines are improvised. (She is channeling her "Bridesmaids" character.) Famously, on "The Simpsons," the yard work sequence from "Cape Feare" made the cut only because the writers needed one full minute of padding. I believe we're seeing something like that in the McCarthy scene from "SVU." Jewell immediately falls in love with Olivia Benson (who just wants some simple information). Jewell keeps derailing the conversation to talk about Benson's "yams," her "baby browns," her talent for "being spicey." Jewell wants cash--but if cash is unavailable, "some other arrangement" could be designed. The scene would not work if Mariska Hargitay st...