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My Favorite Memoir

  Lisa Hanawalt's astonishing memoir has a simple premise: Hanawalt feels that she is "bad" at both horse-riding and sex. But she keeps returning to both activities. That's the story. Hanawalt purchases a horse because she suspects she is not going to have a child. Her friends say, "Go for it! Get the horse. It's self-care." Around the same time, Hanawalt begins to ask questions about her romance of two decades. She and her partner start sharing details about their "crushes." The arrangement becomes an open relationship (though she is oddly reluctant w/r/t using this term). Then--you guessed it--Hanawalt finds herself officially unattached. As Hanawalt wanders through her dating odyssey, she makes a confession. She really likes fat men. Fat, middle-aged. And she enjoys the "reverse cowgirl" option. She wishes that her friends would stop buying her tee shirts that say the following: "My Other Horse Is a Prius." Then again, sh...
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On Martha Stewart

I bought a used Svaha dress for my daughter. It celebrates women in science--it is covered in images of beakers and vials, potions, hot plates. But I failed to distinguish between "adult" sizing and "girl" sizing. "Size 6" does not mean "wear this if you are six years old." In my desperation to make something of my misguided purchase, I considered going in drag for Halloween. *I* would be a woman in science. As I yanked the dress over my head, I created a small tear in the fabric. My husband watched in confusion, asking, "Why don't you just do an exchange?" I write all this in solidarity with Martha Stewart. I know how a bad idea can consume you, so that you are momentarily blinded. Stewart spilled chocolate on her sweater--in a fit of insanity, she realized that she could dress as a struggling civilian for Halloween. All of America would understand her intention. All thoughtful, compassionate, literate suburbanites would read up on...

Michael Connelly

 Michael Connelly uses real-world events in startling ways.  In a recent novel, he had one of his main characters involved in an investigation of the Black Dahlia killing. Now (with "The Hollow"), Connelly is looking into the "Wonderland" murders--unsolved killings of four people in a particular house. Also, for whatever reason, Connelly is intrigued by "Gifts for Putin," an organization that raises funding for Ukrainian missiles. Missiles intended for use against Russia. "Gifts" for Putin. An additional "spark" for Connelly. The MacLaren Children's Center. This actually existed in Los Angeles. A kind of prison for orphaned kids, kids waiting to be adopted. Connelly treats the space as a haunted house. (It has just recently been razed.) The inciting event in the new Bosch novel is the impending death of Bosch; as the former cop gets older, he finds himself thinking more and more about his time at MacLaren. There was a particular dea...

Sharon Horgan: "Youth"

 One thing I like about Sharon Horgan is that her characters have jobs--and the scripts take more than a few seconds to pay attention to the jobs. In "Catastrophe," the Horgan character is a teacher. Various subplots concern her return from maternity leave, her inability to reach one particular student, her ambitions for "dean-tier" status, her role in a poorly planned assembly. The other grade-three teacher stops by to joke about her dream of an early death, her wish for a 10am bottle of Merlot. It's an image of teaching that is absent from most other shows. "Divorce" follows the owner of a gallery--her fantasy of reconstructing the gallery is a kind of "counter melody" for the fantasy of reconstructing her own private life. "Youth" is new in the sense that a Horgan job setting has never been *more* important. A substantial part of the story happens at or around the office. The co-lead is an employer of Horgan/Alex; her name is Sam...

My Other Favorite Movie

  Katie and Christina are sisters; in their youth, they lost their mother. Their father, Vinny, remarried; the *second* spouse had a daughter of her own, Rachel. Rachel had never known her actual father--Vinny just assumed the role of father-in-most-ways.  Now, Vinny is dying. Rachel does the caretaking--until she can't. Katie and Christina descend on the Manhattan apartment and start making phone calls. Hospice workers flow in and out of the space. Katie wants the death to simply happen; the liminal phase is disruptive for her life. She unloads her anger on Rachel; Rachel smokes too much pot, Rachel's choice of job is embarrassing, Rachel hasn't stocked the fridge properly. Rachel fights back: Katie is too imperious, Katie says "my father" instead of "OUR father." Christina, easily the most obnoxious of the three, lives in a fantasyland where everyone nervously apologizes after sneezing or clearing a throat. Christina tolerates a great deal--unless you ...

An Autism Glossary

Diagnosis .  This is a word that has become fascinating to me. For a long while, "autism" was thought to be distinct from "Asperger's syndrome." But then it was revealed that Asperger was--literally--a Nazi. He supported the Nazi party. Several different kinds of quirky behavior were subsequently lumped under one umbrella, "Autism Spectrum Disorder." But if you hear the letters ASD, you may think of the phenomenon called "classic autism," a scenario that is characterized by *profound* isolation and a rigid need for repetitive behavior. Many professionals I've encountered argue that certain minor symptoms should *not* fall under the ASD umbrella. Instead, these symptoms should be called "quirky behavior." Caretakers.  I am not a social person, and I really hate the stream of caretakers that makes its way through my house. I hate that one of the current caretakers--a celebrated "behavior technician"--greets me by reporti...

A Gay Writer

  "Miss You, Love You" follows a He and a She -- but it's not a love story. In a way, it's like "Two Strangers Carry a Cake Across New York." Diane is a grieving widow in the Southwest. She is estranged from her son, but she hopes that he might attend his stepfather's funeral. Instead, he sends his assistant, Jamie. (The estranged son *might* materialize, but he is doing important journalistic work in Lebanon, and there are apparently complex timing/safety issues.) Diane is furious, and she doesn't "buy" her son's narrative. But she also understands that retaining Jamie is a way to dig up information about her son. So she plays host to Jamie. She probes him for details. She spies on his texting behavior. And Jamie has his own problems. He never really had an authentic relationship with the people in his immediate family--they died too soon. He envies Diane, because she truly knew her son. Before the estrangement, Diane and her son were ...