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Back to School Night

  I'm not whining. I do think it's strange that the public school system requires parents to endure a tedious "orientation" program in the spring--when the same bland material is re-rehearsed for parents the following autumn. David Sedaris once wrote a scathing review of a local elementary school's production of "A Christmas Carol," and I often think about this piece. At "Back to School Night," the greatest tension resulted from a discussion about reusable water bottles. I find the bottle obsession to be absurd. In my childhood, you just made a stop at the public drinking fountain. Now, each little pre-K diva needs a Nalgene, as if he or she were Audra McDonald, replenishing fluids during a Carnegie Hall recital of Schubert's German art songs. But my daughter's teacher shocked all parents by demanding *two* water bottles per student. There was then a lengthy, baffling speech about the lunch basket and the snack basket--and the problem o...
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Homer Simpson

In "The Night of the Dolphin," Lisa frees a captive dolphin from Sea World. But the dolphin turns out to be Snorky, King of All Dolphins. Having been given power, Snorky organizes a revolt. ("Our playful leaping was not about discovery and joy. We just hated the water. We wanted to get out.") Homer believes that mankind can win the war against dolphins. ("We humans have destroyed a species before. And we invented the pudding cup, the glory hole, and the peel-and-eat shrimp....") But the dolphins are the victors. People retreat to the sea. Having become philosophical, Homer remembers the soil. "Well, land....I guess the dolphins just WANTED it more...." This segment is wonderful because of Snorky, who speaks in well-organized paragraphs and walks on his caudal fin. You also get a helpful insult to borrow if you're ever in a fight with a dolphin. ("You're just a....hoop-jumping.....TUNA-MUNCHER....") The writer--Carolyn Omine--has...

Days of Miracle and Wonder

 Paul Simon's "Graceland" is an "I Am" song--it's rueful and amused and optimistic. It is a grownup pop song. Like any artist, Simon sees the dissolution of a marriage as an opportunity. He takes a *literal* journey (to the South) while also taking an "inner" journey (to the truth or something like the truth). The external world is an echo of the interior world. When Simon alludes to "the cradle of the Civil War," he is talking about Abraham Lincoln, but he is also talking about the civil war that was his marriage, and he is talking about the war within his own soul. Writing without self-pity, Simon notices something funny about Carrie Fisher: She comes back to tell me she's gone. As if I didn't know that! As if I didn't know my own bed. As if I never noticed-- The way she brushed her hair from her forehead. (For the next several years, Fisher and Simon will continue to send mixed signals to each other. One will always be trou...

Andrew Garfield: "The Uprising"

 Andrew Garfield makes a point of working with high-profile directors: Scorsese, Lin-Manuel Miranda, David Fincher, Guadagnino. So the Garfield/Paul Greengrass collaboration has a sense of inevitability. It's the 1300s! The bubonic plague is doing its thing. Richard II is running out of money; his nefarious advisors suggest that he should tax the poor. But the masses strike back. There is an assumption that Richard II himself is a decent person; he has just (unfortunately) surrounded himself with snakes. Fighting ensues. People start to reevaluate their understanding of Richard II. That's the entire movie. If you're going to have sinister barons whispering in the 1300s, you're going to need Stephen Dillane and Tom Hollander; this movie gives us both actors, and they do exactly what we want them to do. You also get Katherine Waterston, consistently mysterious as Joan of Kent. The biggest shock of the cinema summer season was Anne Hathaway in "The End of Oak Street...

My Television

  https://www.nytimes.com/interactive/2026/arts/television/best-tv-shows-21st-century.html In every imaginable universe, "Somebody Somewhere" is a smarter, subtler show than "The Pitt." I have watched and written about both shows. You will never convince me that the Times is justified in ranking "The Pitt" *above* Bridget Everett's masterpiece. You will never convince me that this is anything other than sexism. Everett would never make something as clunky as the "Tree of Life" chapter from "The Pitt." That said, I want to share my happiest memory of TV watching. It involves "Better Call Saul," a show that did not crack the top twenty in the Times. (Absurd.) There are moments in history when all of New York City and its suburbs seem to be focused on one TV mystery. Will Jesse survive the finale of "Breaking Bad"? Did Ralph, in "The Sopranos," murder his own horse (just to collect insurance money)? Which ...

My Other Favorite Painting

  This is my other favorite painting; it's by Peter Paul Rubens. It has a title--but I prefer to give it my own title. I've selected the title "Leaving the House." Little Frans, the boy, has run ahead and ascertained that the car door is locked. He wonders why Peter Paul can't hurry up, find the remote key fob, and click the "beeper" button. Mom, Helena, worries that it might rain. Peter Paul understands that the trip ahead will involve walking--the family is heading to the zoo. Wouldn't it be smart to double back and locate the stroller? Right now, I'm watching "The Americans"; the main story that interests me is about the married Jennings couple and their teen daughter Paige. Whenever the Jennings share a secret, they exchange looks, and their daughter notices the look, and the camera notices the couple *not* noticing Paige's moment of observation. When Paige visits her parents' fake travel agency, she jokes that Mom wants to ...

Five Tuesdays in Winter

  Lily King called her first story collection "Five Tuesdays in Winter"; the title is a dare. King is daring herself to find extraordinary moments within superficially banal settings. Extraordinary moments within a "winter Tuesday." Mitchell's daughter, who was twelve, accused him of loving his books but hating his customers. He didn't hate them. He just didn't like having to chat with them or lead them to clearly marked sections--if they couldn't read, why were they buying books? .... His daughter loved the customers. She sat behind the counter at the cash drawer every Saturday, writing up receipts in an illegible imitation of his own hand and chatting like an innkeeper. She was too tall and too sophisticated for a Maine preteen. She made him uneasy. She had recently learned the word "reticent" and used it on him constantly.  "Isn't he the most reticent person you've ever met?" she asked Kate, his only other employee. ...