Liars and Saints

  I'm still amazed by the number of times I'm saying "poop" in a serious conversation. My child's teacher asks for "butt paste," and I'm startled. "Butt paste" is a puzzling term to hear, if you're a gay man. I understand, suddenly, that the request is for Desitin, and I work hard not to giggle. The teacher reports that my son "pooped again," and I become a detective in a film noir. "Exactly what time was the poop?" I ask. I wonder why this question is relevant.  The teacher assembles a team of paraprofessionals; I hear testimony from several witnesses. "Runny." "It seemed to start to crawl up his back." I ponder: What is my face meant to do in this scene? What is being asked of me, here and now? In her memoir, Mary Rodgers advises all parents not to get too stressed about toilet training. "No one gets married in a diaper," she writes. "If someone *does* get married in a diaper....w...

  I went back to the Mary Rodgers memoir, just because so many critics ranked it high in "best-of-year" lists, and here are the stories that really startle me: *When Mary's toddler died, Mary's icy mother said, "I guess you'll need to gather the remaining children and drive across the state to our house, in Connecticut...." (You can't make that up.) *When Mary's own child, Adam Guettel, was in the running for a Best Musical Tony Award, he turned to his mother to express his love. And Mary said, correctly, "You're about to lose. The winner will be SPAMALOT." *When Mary offered a candid assessment of ANYONE CAN WHISTLE, the writer, Arthur Laurents, said, "I hate you, and everyone in the cast hates you. Don't come with us to Philadelphia." *Mary's sister had Juilliard-level talent, but Dick and Dorothy Rodgers did not think that anyone should pursue an unpleasant life as a classical musician. So they simply failed to ...

  Mary Rodgers feels that her father, Richard, never repeated the triumph of "Carousel." ("You can start to hear him drying up around the time of  Flower Drum Song." ) Rodgers can't tolerate "You'll Never Walk Alone," but she likes the surrounding story, and she points out that the writers aren't really focused on Julie/Billy. They're focused on Billy as a father. The emotional heft of the show comes from Billy's attempt to form a bond with his offspring. ("My boy, Bill, will be sturdy and tall as a tree.....Like a tree, he'll grow...with his head held high.....") Mary Rodgers's insight is especially powerful because of her own thoughts about her own semi-monstrous father, whom she loved. (Also, Rodgers's book smartly dismisses criticism of "Carousel" as "the-musical-that-isn't-empowering." "It's about some bad behavior; it doesn't *advocate* bad behavior. Does  Sweeney Todd  ad...