Liars and Saints

 Sometimes, I think about my life in relation to "The Sopranos." There is that moment when Carmela barks, "AJ needs his routines!" That could easily be yours truly--talking about a different little boy. The dispute with the neighbors. If I bake rigatoni for your in-laws, that means my daughter *will* win a spot at Georgetown . My family has a similar arrangement where we back school board candidates in exchange for basic civility from our school principal. (This sometimes works!) The final scene of "The Sopranos" is treated as a kind of Rosetta Stone--what can it tell us about the mob storyline? But I'm not sure that the mob is of paramount importance in this scene. Before the nebulous final seconds, AJ offers advice to his father. "You need to relax. Remember the good times. OK? You told me that once." This is a specific observation about family life--your child will repeat your own words in front of you. (If I'm visibly stressed, my son...

  A gift of rewatching "The Sopranos" is that one notices Toni Kalem--who made a mark as Big Pussy's widow, but also as a talented writer. Kalem drafted "All Happy Families," for which Edie Falco earned an Emmy nomination. There's an obvious contrast between Mrs. Big Pussy and Carmela. Though Mrs. Big Pussy endures a tragedy (the disappearance of her spouse), she might not choose to rewrite her own story. Freed from Sal, Angie starts her own business and fights her own battles. The battles aren't pretty, but they're at least interesting. By contrast, Carmela's story is bleak. She wriggles out of Tony's grasp, but to what end? She attempts a course in still life painting, and complains that the task is difficult. (Tony asks: "Difficult? So why do it?") Carmela then begins a relationship; the brief affair is unimportant, except that it leads to one memorable scene. Complaining to her father that "men will always see me as married...

 One strategy David Chase uses so well is misdirection. We are frequently led to expect one event, only to learn that something different is in the blueprints. A standout example: Johnny Sack gets involved in a mob war. He drives home to discover that the front door is open. The obvious conclusion is that an assassin is lurking, waiting; we're going to see a bloodbath. Instead, the truth emerges: Johnny's wife has left the door unlocked and scurried downstairs, to eat candy bars in private. The stress of mafia dealings has led her to overeat in secret; her public story is that the long-term effect of pregnancy has created her weight gain. We also witness the simmering tension between Carmela and Furio. Surely, this will lead to shtupping; after all, Tony himself rarely resists temptation, hour after hour. Carmela uses her son as a pawn; dragging him along on a "Furio date" means that the event isn't really a date. Carmela dances passionately with Furio, in public;...

  At times, I detect little errors in "The Sopranos." For example, when Gloria Trillo drives Carmela in a car, Gloria blatantly mocks Carmela: "So great that your daughter is getting a Columbia degree. Looks like *she* won't have to rely on a man for support. Some people aren't in the same boat." Carmela--who generally seems shrewd to me--misses this insult. Is that plausible? Also, the writers want us to believe that Meadow spends a full summer reading Mary Higgins Clark novels. As far as I can recall, we in the audience never see Meadow reading a book for pleasure. What does she think of Mary Higgins Clark? Does she discuss the Clark novels with friends? To me, the Clark reference feels lazy, undercooked. All that said, I love the Meadow stories. In season four, the feisty undergrad decides to take a year off, to mourn the loss of Jackie Jr. Her mother fights this in a helpless way, but the battles go nowhere. Tony throws up his hands and says, "Fine....

  When the actress Anna Gunn asked for insight into her character, Mrs. Walter White, Vince Gilligan said, "She's like Carmela Soprano, but in this world, Carmela is *running* the mafia..." This strikes me as at least a partial misreading of "The Sopranos." To suggest that Edie Falco's Carmela does *not* run the mafia? Which show is Vince Gilligan watching? Here are some ways that Falco's Carmela pulls the strings. She intervenes when the "Big Pussy" marriage seems on the rocks; she gives bad advice to Mrs. Big Pussy, so that a divorce does not occur, a kind of status quo remains a kind of status quo. Carmela becomes a mafia boss in her dealings with Georgetown University; she uses the weight of her family's violent reputation to ensure that a glowing "letter of reference" takes shape and then travels to the right hands. Finally, Carmela gives her tacit approval when Tony brutally upends a civilian's life. When the civilian...

 In this house, certain rituals must occur before bedtime: *My husband and I stare at the ceiling and express impotent fury at our (absent) contractor, who is now three months off-schedule, and who disappears for days on end. We quote him: "I'll keep you apprised." "I'm in a meeting." "As per our discussion...." *We then mock the friend who recently found it exhausting to empathize, and who instead launched into an unsolicited monologue about home repair: "What you have to understand about contractors is that....." *My husband asks me about popular culture, and I try to answer in a way that is respectful but firm. "As a gay man, you really, really must know a few things about Edie Falco...." *We discuss our various pills. TUMS if the most recent meal was BBQ. Klonopin if sleep seems evasive. XYZal because it keeps one's allergies at bay--and also it's maybe extra Klonopin in disguise? It's these events I think I'...