Around one year ago, I had a chance to attend a wedding, a gay wedding. As is often the case, one half of the couple seemed to have the "louder" personality; he was working on voting rights, so he designed the "order of activities" to resemble a voting pamphlet. Small stick figures illustrated the text. The font came from the NYC subway signs; each activity involved numbered " how-to- style" instructions. The louder spouse was a world traveler--so the food stations were from far-flung corners of the Earth; each station represented an actual, bizarre trip that the spouse had taken (and laminated photos drove the point home). All well and good--but I trained my eye on the quieter spouse. Still waters can run deep. Not shockingly, the quieter spouse stole the show. He did this in his vows. He spoke about struggling to come to terms with his sexual orientation--feeling, for a long time, that he had to be guarded and "perfect" to compensate for his ...