Liars and Saints

  I'm enjoying the trainwreck that is "Scarpetta." It feels like a Colleen Hoover miniseries. I have no idea what is happening in the mystery portion of the story, but I've gathered a few things about the other aspects of the plot. Nicole Kidman is (improbably) the sister of Jamie Lee Curtis. Kidman, in her teal, high-waisted  haute couture  skirt suit, works as a medical examiner, trying to net a particular killer,  the one who has always haunted us . Amazingly, Kidman's sister, Kidman's bereaved lesbian niece, and Kidman's brother-in-law all live with Kidman. (Curtis has a thriving career as a writer of picture books--though, in general, she expresses little or no interest in books, pictures, or children.) Curtis's spouse, Mr. Jamie Lee Curtis, is secretly in love with Nicole Kidman. Kidman's spouse, Hunter Parrish, is (somehow) investigating Kidman's own case--though ethical codes prohibit Parrish from speaking with Kidman about professional...

  "Babygirl" is a little vague about its protagonist's desires. Romy, a CEO who works with automation, is herself a kind of robot; she has never had an orgasm in almost twenty years of marriage. Secretly, she wants to crawl on all fours, lick milk (doggy-style) from a saucer, and submit to simple commands ("undress," "spread your legs"). These wishes seem sort of "vanilla" in flavor, but they have inspired such shame in Romy, she has kept mum for decades, and she has learned to hate herself. A young intern, Samuel, intuits Romy's wish to be (mildly) humiliated, and an affair begins. Romy now has what she wants, but she may need to sacrifice her marriage. The movie never makes a convincing case that the marriage truly means the world to Romy, perhaps because of some bad expository dialogue. ("My marriage truly means the world to me!") The director is a little more persuasive when she suggests that job-loss would be a devastating ...

  We all know there is something slightly alien about Nicole Kidman; what exactly did she discover within Scientology? Is it true that she doesn't have access to a few of her kids? Can it be that--as she says--she has never had work done to her face? ("To be honest, I'm completely natural.") When she found greatness in a script about a woman who considers fucking the ghost of her dead spouse (resurrected as a ten-year-old boy) -- what was happening in her head? When she went on to say that "Birth" was a major highlight within her filmography -- again, what was the rationale? We tend not to dwell on the mysteries of Nicole Kidman, because she can be so mesmerizing on-screen, but Chloe Fineman is here to wake us up. Chloe Fineman has "turned subtext into text." Nicole Kidman is a stunning robot-Martian, and Fineman is her greatest interpreter. Happy weekend. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a22c8NPNOPI

  I have another thought about turning forty. You notice little trends in "the culture." Let's say you're watching "The Making of Whitney Huston's CINDERELLA," on NBC. It's revealed that Brandy didn't *want* to play Cinderella; she thought that the role belonged to Whitney herself. And Whitney said, "Sweetheart, I am THIRTY THREE YEARS OLD. I'm no Cinderella." This is so strange, because you watched Whitney in your childhood, and she seemed basically to be on the verge of old age--but you watch now and say, "Thirty three! If she'd taken care of herself, she could have had six or seven extra decades!" You might listen to Adele's disturbing album, "25," released when Adele was (allegedly) 25. On this album, Adele complains that she is "running out of time." What the fuck is she talking about? Also, she recalls far-off days "when we were young." WTF? Also, let's say you have a fondnes...

  It's been said that gayness is the ability to mock and revere one thing -- to mock AND revere, in one breath. And so I give you the Nicole Kidman Little Golden Book -- "Nicole, from Ohr to Nor!" I love this string of Tweets, first because it teaches: (1) Kidman was once overtaken by a bike, (2) Kidman has a cameo in "Panic Room," and (3) Virginia Woolf's final swim was in the River Ouse. I also think that the opening couplet is a work of art: A is for ACCENTS....which one will we hear? B....BOY Erased....my son is a queer! I admire the specificity throughout. https://twitter.com/KevinJZak/status/1537853485642825736

 "Being the Ricardos" is a shaky movie, with a weak script, and Nicole Kidman's performance is not one of her best. Nevertheless, I love Ms. Kidman, and I'm ready for an Oscar victory. One thing I appreciate about Kidman is her tales of her childhood; she was too pale to "sun" on the Australian beach, so she would stay in and read Dostoyevsky and Ibsen. She understood that *reading* Ibsen might be her one and only chance to "play Nora" -- and she was OK with that. Reading Chekhov, she could "play" Nina or Masha in her head -- and she was OK with that, too. People complain that Kidman's first Oscar win was for a mediocre film, "The Hours," deemed, by Manohla Dargis, "a polite yawn of a movie." People also feel that Kidman didn't need the ridiculous prosthetic nose; Virginia Woolf was once considered a beauty, and the Hollywood makeup department neglected to do some important homework. Kidman is the one and only ...

 After "Beauty and the Beast," the world waited approximately ten more years for another movie-musical to get a Best Picture Oscar nomination. That movie was "Moulin Rouge." The movie lost, and its lead, Nicole Kidman, lost, but "Chicago" had better luck the next year. (Though, when "Chicago" made waves, its star, Renee Zellweger, lost *her* Oscar to Nicole Kidman--for "The Hours.") "Moulin Rouge" is the story of a courtesan; though she is in the final stages of tuberculosis, she has a strong resemblance to Hitchcock-era Grace Kelly. She, Satine, is torn. Should she give her time to a penniless writer, whom she loves? Or should she trade love for commerce? Should she pretend to date a terrible duke, who will finance her acting career? Satine is tough, and inclined to dismiss the writer. ("The only way of loving me is....if you pay a lovely fee...") But the writer persists. And love wins the day. Love triumphs even ov...

 "To Die For" came out before I entered high school--before!--and it still stays in my mind. It's the story of Suzanne Stone, a character built off a real-world human, Pamela Smart. Ms. Smart conspired to have her own husband murdered, and that's also what happens in "To Die For." Suzanne, a sociopath, can't understand why life won't just conform to the shape of a TV narrative. Why would anyone wonder if Suzanne wants to have a family? ("Two problems with that: You can't cover a royal wedding if you're pregnant.....And, also, who wants to look at you afterward?") Suzanne recognizes an opportunity for media coverage at her own husband's funeral, so she pulls out a boom box and looks mournful for the entirety of a song, "All By Myself." Suzanne can't be bothered with a troubled teen's story about an assault: She waves a hand impatiently and says, "You know what? You put that memory in a box, and you put that...

  It's hard, now, to see Nicole Kidman and *not* think of Chloe Fineman's devastating impersonation (included here). But, gosh, I like Nicole Kidman. I like her very much. In honor of Kidman's "Undoing" performance, and her prominent spot on the Times list of "25 Greatest 21st-Century Film Actors (So Far)," I'm listing my three favorite Nicole moments here. They're all from "Rabbit Hole." Did you see this one? It's a bit of a mess. It landed Nicole an Oscar nomination, but people tend to forget about it. It's a film that asks us to believe that Nicole is the sibling of Tammy Blanchard. Also, we're meant to ignore the strange Australian accent that pops up now and then. Nevertheless.....here you go.....my favorite Nicole: (3) Why didn't God just make another angel ? Nicole's kid is dead, and Nicole is enraged to have to attend a grief support group. Someone prattles on about...."My kid *needed* to die....because ...

I wish Nicole Kidman hadn't done that stupid Kevin Hart/Bryan Cranston movie. Maybe she needed to buy a new house or something. This movie, or the idea of this movie, annoyed me when it was in its French iteration (an iteration I didn't see). It annoys me now, in its American iteration (which I don't want to see and probably will see). Let me explain. First, I can anticipate lapses in taste from Bryan Cranston. Mr. Cranston's post-"Breaking Bad" career has had more misfires than exciting moments, and so I don't expect all that much from him in the decision-making realm. And heaven knows I expect nothing from Kevin Hart. This man's work has never shown evidence of talent or even, really, a sense of humor, and I don't anticipate changes. (That said, I think the national response to Mr. Hart's dumb Tweets and dumb, homophobic, old standup has been overblown. It brings to mind the term: "witch hunt.") But Nicole Kidman? Ms. Kidman has...