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Nicole Kidman: "Scarpetta"

 I'm enjoying the trainwreck that is "Scarpetta." It feels like a Colleen Hoover miniseries.


I have no idea what is happening in the mystery portion of the story, but I've gathered a few things about the other aspects of the plot. Nicole Kidman is (improbably) the sister of Jamie Lee Curtis. Kidman, in her teal, high-waisted haute couture skirt suit, works as a medical examiner, trying to net a particular killer, the one who has always haunted us. Amazingly, Kidman's sister, Kidman's bereaved lesbian niece, and Kidman's brother-in-law all live with Kidman. (Curtis has a thriving career as a writer of picture books--though, in general, she expresses little or no interest in books, pictures, or children.)

Curtis's spouse, Mr. Jamie Lee Curtis, is secretly in love with Nicole Kidman. Kidman's spouse, Hunter Parrish, is (somehow) investigating Kidman's own case--though ethical codes prohibit Parrish from speaking with Kidman about professional matters. There is also an A.I. ghost who lives in Nicole Kidman's guest room.

I don't think any of this is terribly important. What matters is the parade of Kidman gestures. The moment where she puffs air through her cheeks in exasperation. The moment where she makes a kind of incredulous "scoffing" noise. (Does "scoffing" actually happen outside the pages of a novel? Yes. Nicole Kidman is a person who regularly indulges in "scoffing" behavior.) I also love the Nicole Kidman whisper--the bizarre almost non-audible voice she uses, for no apparent reason, in moments of great tension. She is just wonderful.

My spouse dislikes this show--but, for me, "Scarpetta" is a no-brainer. I *will* watch. It's Nicole Kidman.
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