Liars and Saints

 Last night, I'd hired a babysitter, and I had a few hours to kill.  I tried to use this time in an intelligent way. "Kiss of the Spider Woman" received meh reviews--and I just can't imagine Jennifer Lopez has the skills to carry that movie. Meanwhile, the "worthy" Leo DiCaprio film seemed daunting. Who has three hours of sharp attention to offer on a Friday night? I chose "The Conjuring: Last Rites," because audience scores were pretty high. I thought, however bad this movie might be, it features Vera Farmiga, and it's always a smart idea to watch Vera Farmiga. But the movie turned out to be among the worst of the year. I couldn't stay awake. Vera was amusing, as always, but what a dreadful, lazy, sentimental script. The ticket was just south of twenty dollars--then, of course, there were the fees for the babysitter, the planning work and the negotiation of an extra childcare hour, and the sleepy drive back to the house. So I feel for Bar...

  "I Married Marge" feels like a "companion piece" for "Radio Bart." In "IMM," it's Homer, not Bart, who experiences moral growth. Having impregnated Marge, Homer thinks that life is sunny. After all, if he turns the mini-golf windmill properly, he might get promoted to the rank of "Guy Who Distributes the Putters." But the Bouviers make something clear: Putt Putt paychecks are not adequate when you're raising a child. Homer first fails to take the matter seriously. He auditions for a role at the local nuclear power plant, but when Smithers triggers a "meltdown simulation," Homer misses obvious cues and responds with a panic attack. Homer apprehends that he must begin to market himself. He returns to Montgomery Burns and offers to act as a doormat. He will be utterly spineless, without a will of his own. Delighted, Burns immediately produces a contract. I think this is sweet without being "overly" sweet. It...