Liars and Saints

  Lily Tomlin made waves with "Nashville"; she earned an Oscar nomination. This was an insane year at the Oscars, with Altman competing against Spielberg ("Jaws") and Forman ('One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest") and Lumet ("Dog Day Afternoon") and Kubrick ("Barry Lyndon").  Tomlin lost, in her category, but it seems she wasn't permanently scarred. An interesting quirk in her career is that, almost every time she takes on a role, she panics and tries to back out. I think this suggests seriousness; Tomlin understands she cannot "phone it in." Recently, Tomlin called a friend, Paul Weitz, with whom she had worked on "Admission." Apparently, Tomlin said, "Paul, you need to write something for Jane Fonda and me." And Tomlin--being Tomlin--then *got* what she wanted. The result is the film "Moving On." I can't say this is a total success. It's the story of two friends--connected by an affil...

 I'm a real believer in titles. I think a strong title sends a message: "This work knows what it's about."  Breaking Bad ,  Follies, Casablanca, The Lion King, Yellowjackets, Pride and Prejudice : These are punchy, confident titles. You feel you might be in good hands. Spider-Man: Turn Off the Dark  is a weak title;  American Dirt  is a weak title. These titles say: "Maybe think twice before you trust the writer. Maybe consider the thought of heading for the hills...." I believe that  80 for Brady  is a terrific title; it's fresh, it tells you what the movie is; it's funny. And it's attached to a good movie. The movie tells a "quest" tale: The Holy Grail is a set of tickets to the 2017 Super Bowl.  Lily Tomlin pleads with a radio DJ for the quartet of free tickets. "My friends and I are 80. We all love the Patriots; we bond over this, and the games help us forget cancer, death, a divorce...." We're led to think that Tomlin...

I have been a substitute teacher now for a year--it's something that gets tossed in with some general secretarial duties--and I've had several of my own sins visited upon me. The errors I made as a teacher? The cavalier way I treated subs? I see things differently now. Here is some advice, if you're ever called to sub, and the advice might travel the spectrum from philosophical to extremely specific: *Rely heavily on "The Magic Schoolbus." It's not a great show. The character development is thin. There's always a lengthy, tedious interlude with heavy exposition (and my eyes always glaze over). BUT: There is a hyperactive background score and there are many bright colors. It's amazing how much tedium you can tolerate if the music and color scheme are continuously shifting. Trust me on this. Also, you may have a Netflix account, but many SmartBoards have weird issues with "Silverlight" or some other tech-problem nonsense. And when you...

Prepare for full-scale existential panic. At any moment, a child may burst into sustained, earth-shaking sobbing, because a button has fallen off her pants. At first, you are unnerved, because the reaction seems so out of proportion with the thing that has gone wrong. But look deep into your soul. Think about waking up this morning. Did a part of you not want to let loose with earth-shaking sobs? It did. You can empathize. There's a beer waiting for you at 4:00. * Lean on the Magic Schoolbus. For whatever reason, Amazon Prime and Netflix don't work with many SMARTBoards. But "The Magic Schoolbus," on Youtube, is always available. Children don't realize they are bored until midway through Episode Two--because there's a fair amount of color, and there are various diverting audio cues, in this series. Skip the final two minutes of any show, when Lily Tomlin reappears and gives a boring speech about the science behind the shenanigans you've just witnessed. T...