Liars and Saints

We are told to talk--and talk, and talk--to our babies, and so I sift through my mental detritus: * Komodo dragons are the largest reptiles. They are found in Indonesia. *THE MUSIC MAN defeated WEST SIDE STORY for the Tony Award, and some people say that that's fine. * Polar bears are in the Arctic; penguins are in Antarctica. *Your dads like the park; it's very green. *Tigers are in Asia; lions are in Africa. My baby doesn't really respond. He does a little dance with his arms, part-maestro, part-yoga-instructor. *** Feeding is an art. The problem is that the baby falls asleep mid-bottle. So you have to tickle the soles of his feet. Then the feeding resumes. But the baby's attention will seem to wander, so you have to be coy; you have to pretend to remove the bottle from the baby's mouth. Just one little tug, and the baby snaps to attention. He decides he *does* want milk. The grass is always greener.... *** After a pushy guy circumcises your baby, ...

"West Side Story" is returning to Broadway. And it's returning to Hollywood. So we'll have two new Tonys in the near future--Isaac Powell and Ansel Elgort, respectively. One thing I'm thinking of--in anticipation--is "Gee, Officer Krupke." This is a moment late in the show when the hoodlums gather to contemplate their own bad behavior. Like many real-world teenage brats, these characters invent fun for themselves by parodying the adults in their lives. Taking on adult personae, they wonder aloud if bad teenager behavior derives from nurture: "My brother wears a dress [so how can you expect me not to be antisocial]?" The teens--playacting adults--also wonder if bad behavior derives from drugs: "My mom and dad are always high [so how can you expect that I would conduct myself properly]?" There's an obvious punchline here: "My mom and dad smoke so much weed...AND they won't share any of it with ME!" A good Sondhei...