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On Being Forty

 I have another thought about turning forty.


You notice little trends in "the culture."

Let's say you're watching "The Making of Whitney Huston's CINDERELLA," on NBC. It's revealed that Brandy didn't *want* to play Cinderella; she thought that the role belonged to Whitney herself. And Whitney said, "Sweetheart, I am THIRTY THREE YEARS OLD. I'm no Cinderella."

This is so strange, because you watched Whitney in your childhood, and she seemed basically to be on the verge of old age--but you watch now and say, "Thirty three! If she'd taken care of herself, she could have had six or seven extra decades!"

You might listen to Adele's disturbing album, "25," released when Adele was (allegedly) 25. On this album, Adele complains that she is "running out of time." What the fuck is she talking about? Also, she recalls far-off days "when we were young." WTF?

Also, let's say you have a fondness for trashy Nicole Kidman thrillers. (Who can blame you?) You begin to watch "Before I Go to Sleep" (which is actually unwatchable), and you note a mournful Nicole, staring at the camera: "I'm forty, and half my life is over."

You want to shake Nicole, because this really seems like glass-half-empty thinking. Nicole! This is before Big Little Lies! You don't even have your Emmy Award yet!!

This is a terrible country we live in; it's the worst; and no one should ever, ever turn on a radio or television.
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