(1) "The Queen." On this weekend, of all weekends, it's important to celebrate Elizabeth II. Let's be clear. "The Crown" is sometimes overly-schematic, lost in glacial pacing, a little bit textbook-ish. But "The Queen" is different from "The Crown." ("The Queen" is very schematic, as well, but Helen Mirren, like a really great contestant on "Project Runway," consistently "makes it work.") The second season of "The Crown" suffered because Elizabeth II did not have an excellent foe; there was her whiny husband, but he wasn't a really worthy match. (And her wonderful pile-of-turds sister disappeared for large stretches of the story.) "The Queen" gives us Tony Blair--and both Blair and Elizabeth II are intelligent fools, and their foolishness is fun to watch. Also, it's nice to see Mirren being a badass; she has a shitty husband, an idiot son, and a spectral nemesis in the form of that twit Diana. And she overcomes all obstacles, like Hamilton in the first act of "Hamilton." Peter Morgan's attention to pageantry and subtext and miscommunication--"They won't fly the flag at half-mast!"--is notable throughout.
(2) "Bad Teacher." This script doesn't really make sense. Would the school really allow Cameron Diaz to come back as a guidance counselor (even though, clearly, she does have rare straight-talking abilities)? Even so. It's Cameron Diaz. She has said she is retiring from movies, and my heart aches. My husband and I have a favorite moment in this movie, and it's when Cameron Diaz saves a middle-school kid's reputation. She says, loudly, to his peers: "I just caught him giving a HAND JOB to some EIGHTH GRADER in the SHED." The particular ferocity with which she imitates the hand job, and the crazed intensity of her stare--This is the stuff of movie legend. A nice touch: She has removed her bra and handed it to the boy in question, as a helpful prop. I also love Diaz drilling her students on "To Kill a Mockingbird"; when a kid misses a question, she hurls a dodgeball at the kid's face. (She needs the kids to do well, because doing well means a financial bonus, and a bonus means "new boobs.") "I'm home! It's time to suck your dick." "I spent all summer with the Lakers, but they, like, MAKE SURE you do not get pregnant. They CONFISCATE the condom right after you finish." And my favorite: Diaz starts the year by showing inspirational school-themed movies, such as "Stand and Deliver" and "Dangerous Minds." But then she gets really, really lazy, and decides any film with even one scene set in a school will do. So we see the little children staring, shocked, at the Harry Winkler slasher scene from "Scream." Delightful!
(3) "Notes on a Scandal." Another deranged teacher movie. Here, we have the thrill of Judi Dench's internal monologue. Her colleagues submit lengthy reports on how to fix their departments; Dench writes, "Proceed on same course," and that's all. "We're only around thirty percentage points below the national literacy rate. This is what we can expect." Another favorite scene: Dench goes to Blanchett's house for lunch. Dench is overdressed and carrying fancy wine; Blanchett is dancing around loudly and falling way behind schedule. As Dench smiles primly, we have access to her secret thoughts ("The slutty daughter, the cretinous son"). A sour, pulpy movie: Melodrama for two major divas, and a rare story in which Cate Blanchett is pretty consistently upstaged.
(4) "They Came Together." "Fiction books is some of my favorite kinds of books!" "No! I've never met anyone who likes fiction books!" ...."I'm sorry about your Bubbie. I had a Bubbie, too. Her name was Arlene Crabtree. We were very close." ...."Bro? Thank YOU." ...."I'm surprised you don't shop at some corporate book chain, like Brams and Nerbils." And then, the man who poops in his spandex superhero costume. "I don't know what you're talking about. I came dressed as a man-in-a-towel. That's just how I arrived!"
(5) "Bridesmaids." Everyone always writes about this movie and its many famous scenes, but there are some highlights that don't get adequate attention. One of my favorites is Kristen Wiig's reaction to Maya Rudolph's announcement of her engagement. The range of expressions Wiig produces is really stunning. She goes from genuine happiness and excitement, to existential dread, to crazed, panicky attempt to mask existential dread, in something like ten seconds. It is Oscar-worthy. I like that Maya Rudolph reveals her engagement by way of a "magazine party"; she wackily shows off her ring while pretending to indicate the virtues of various magazines. I like the two friends in a diner, blacking out their own teeth with bits of lettuce, making each other laugh. And I like Rose Byrne's interaction with her stepsons; blink and you'll miss it; they are so cruel to her, and she is so desperate to disguise the bullying as something it is not. You feel for Byrne very early in the movie--which is a smart move (since she is also such a pill). These smaller moments give the movie "roots." They're less flashy than the poop-in-the-bridal-shop and the toast-making competition--but they're important. Thank God for nice, smart, little things.
(2) "Bad Teacher." This script doesn't really make sense. Would the school really allow Cameron Diaz to come back as a guidance counselor (even though, clearly, she does have rare straight-talking abilities)? Even so. It's Cameron Diaz. She has said she is retiring from movies, and my heart aches. My husband and I have a favorite moment in this movie, and it's when Cameron Diaz saves a middle-school kid's reputation. She says, loudly, to his peers: "I just caught him giving a HAND JOB to some EIGHTH GRADER in the SHED." The particular ferocity with which she imitates the hand job, and the crazed intensity of her stare--This is the stuff of movie legend. A nice touch: She has removed her bra and handed it to the boy in question, as a helpful prop. I also love Diaz drilling her students on "To Kill a Mockingbird"; when a kid misses a question, she hurls a dodgeball at the kid's face. (She needs the kids to do well, because doing well means a financial bonus, and a bonus means "new boobs.") "I'm home! It's time to suck your dick." "I spent all summer with the Lakers, but they, like, MAKE SURE you do not get pregnant. They CONFISCATE the condom right after you finish." And my favorite: Diaz starts the year by showing inspirational school-themed movies, such as "Stand and Deliver" and "Dangerous Minds." But then she gets really, really lazy, and decides any film with even one scene set in a school will do. So we see the little children staring, shocked, at the Harry Winkler slasher scene from "Scream." Delightful!
(3) "Notes on a Scandal." Another deranged teacher movie. Here, we have the thrill of Judi Dench's internal monologue. Her colleagues submit lengthy reports on how to fix their departments; Dench writes, "Proceed on same course," and that's all. "We're only around thirty percentage points below the national literacy rate. This is what we can expect." Another favorite scene: Dench goes to Blanchett's house for lunch. Dench is overdressed and carrying fancy wine; Blanchett is dancing around loudly and falling way behind schedule. As Dench smiles primly, we have access to her secret thoughts ("The slutty daughter, the cretinous son"). A sour, pulpy movie: Melodrama for two major divas, and a rare story in which Cate Blanchett is pretty consistently upstaged.
(4) "They Came Together." "Fiction books is some of my favorite kinds of books!" "No! I've never met anyone who likes fiction books!" ...."I'm sorry about your Bubbie. I had a Bubbie, too. Her name was Arlene Crabtree. We were very close." ...."Bro? Thank YOU." ...."I'm surprised you don't shop at some corporate book chain, like Brams and Nerbils." And then, the man who poops in his spandex superhero costume. "I don't know what you're talking about. I came dressed as a man-in-a-towel. That's just how I arrived!"
(5) "Bridesmaids." Everyone always writes about this movie and its many famous scenes, but there are some highlights that don't get adequate attention. One of my favorites is Kristen Wiig's reaction to Maya Rudolph's announcement of her engagement. The range of expressions Wiig produces is really stunning. She goes from genuine happiness and excitement, to existential dread, to crazed, panicky attempt to mask existential dread, in something like ten seconds. It is Oscar-worthy. I like that Maya Rudolph reveals her engagement by way of a "magazine party"; she wackily shows off her ring while pretending to indicate the virtues of various magazines. I like the two friends in a diner, blacking out their own teeth with bits of lettuce, making each other laugh. And I like Rose Byrne's interaction with her stepsons; blink and you'll miss it; they are so cruel to her, and she is so desperate to disguise the bullying as something it is not. You feel for Byrne very early in the movie--which is a smart move (since she is also such a pill). These smaller moments give the movie "roots." They're less flashy than the poop-in-the-bridal-shop and the toast-making competition--but they're important. Thank God for nice, smart, little things.
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