My Oscar Picks: 2018

Yesterday, dismayed, I considered my local movie options. "Green Book," a movie by a man about men. "Roma," a movie about a woman (I think!) by a man. "A Star Is Born," a movie half-concerning a female stereotype, made by a man (and a movie I've seen already). And the sequel to "Wreck-It Ralph," a cartoon about a man, made by men (or, more likely, by robots, having been designed by a committee of men).

Can we give all the Oscars to women this year? Best Picture: "Can You Ever Forgive Me?" Best Actress: Melissa McCarthy in "Can You Ever Forgive Me?" Best Director: Heller, "Can You Ever Forgive Me?" Best Supporting Actress: Jamie Lee Curtis, "Halloween," tied with Vanessa Kirby for the new "Mission: Impossible." Best Script, Adapted: Holofcener, "Can You Ever Forgive Me?"

Best Actor: Kathryn Hahn, "Private Life." Best Supporting Actor: Catherine Keener, "Enough Said," because she should have won an Oscar several years ago, when this movie came out. Best Script, Original: Holofcener, again, this time for "Please Give," because she should have won an Oscar several years ago, when this movie came out. Best Documentary: Sarah Polley, "Stories We Tell." (Obviously. Is this movie several years old? Oops. I don't care.)

Best song: "Why Didya Do That?" by the lady who wrote for "A Star Is Born."

There. Was that so hard?

Distressed by the terrible selections at my local cinema, I decided to go home to rent "Girl on the Train," a not-good movie I've seen already, by a man, about a woman--and, at the least, a movie with a diverting performance from Emily Blunt. It seems to me we should all support Emily Blunt at all times, even if this means rewatching a mediocre movie now and then.

Then: A better idea. "Please Give." So what if I had seen it three times already? People who like both movies and women's art have to make do with what they are given.

And "Please Give" is more or less a perfect movie. Have you not seen it? It's Catherine Keener at the top of her game--being distraught, painfully funny, aloof, imperious, shy, tender. It's Catherine Keener offering up the human experience, unvarnished, capturing so much complexity, as Ms. Keener tends to do. (When she was quite young, she auditioned with her boyfriend for "Thelma and Louise." The boyfriend was very serious about the audition; Keener was not. Guess which of the two won a role?)

"Please Give" is Rebecca Hall before she became a star. It's Hall thoughtfully giving her rendition of dead-person-comes-alive. It's a cliche to say a performance is breathtaking; without rending garments, or losing a child, or getting lost on a mission to Mars, Hall is nevertheless breathtaking in this movie.

"Please Give" is Lois Smith at her ferocious best. Smith actually never disappoints. At 900 years old, she has a plate of work more interesting than anyone else's plate. And by the way, let's give both Greta Gerwig and Lois Smith belated Oscars for the work they did on "Lady Bird." Did that smart, quietly radical film really lose a prize to "The Shape of Water"? Good God.

Nicole Holofcener breaks rules simply by having women of all ages speak to one another, on-screen, about seemingly unsexy subjects: acne, liberal guilt, money, furniture, nightgowns, celebrity gossip, domestic staffing issues. Holofcener continuously shows me myself, by capturing awkward moments no other writer would think to dramatize: incorrectly identifying a pedestrian as homeless, speculating about a still-living person's impending death, and what that death might mean for local real estate, volunteering for all the wrong reasons, becoming entangled in an absurd and pointlessly snippy marital discussion about a crooked toe.

No one else thinks to write what Holofcener writes.

Ms. Holofcener looks closely at pedestrian experience--and finds wonder and beauty in the weirdest corners.

Also, she creates job opportunities for women.

At long last, may Nicole Holofcener rule the Oscars this year.

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