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Ten Things I Learned This Year

(1) Exercise is meant to be a form of self-care. I learn this, then forget, then learn again. It seems to me, the more you can view the treadmill as a means of self-"pampering", the better off you are. The alternative is feeling impatience and self-disgust, i.e. WHY AM I NOT SEEING RESULTS RIGHT NOW? That doesn't get me far. 

(2) Guy de Maupassant wrote novels. Who knew? I thought it was just short stories. One of his novels, "Like Death," is creepy and sad, and also lets you imagine the kind of wonder with which GDM likely viewed the world. (That said, GDM died young, having attempted suicide at least once, and he was plagued by complications from syphilis.)

 (3) If you're making a stir-fry, less is more. The bell pepper bits need only 1 minute. Just 1!

 (4) An apology is a wonderful thing. Yesterday, I spoke sharply to my spouse, which was not a big deal, but then in my head, I thought and thought about how tightly-wound I am at Christmas, and how allowances should be made because of this. And then a light went on. Nonsense, Daniel. You are an adult. You do not need allowances. Put on your big-boy pants. And choirs of angels sang!

(5) People like to hear their own names. Unless you're doing it in a cloying, I-just-want-your-business way. Then, people will see through you and resent you for your transparent attempts at manipulation.

 (6) Low-key is best. Most things at work do not require sirens and red alarms, and even if you're *feeling* sirens on the inside? If you can pretend to be suave, like Campbell Scott, that's a good idea.

(7) Alice Walker is an anti-Semite. Who knew? Roxane Gay knew, apparently.

(8) I still like the stories of Junot Diaz. What can I say? He sounds like a bully. And: He writes extremely well.

 (9) Manhattanites are stylish and pretty. This becomes much, much more apparent once you have moved to South Orange. You enter Manhattan on the weekend, and it's as if you were a visiting alien.

(10) Critics can err. Have some skepticism regarding the aforementioned Roxane Gay on Harper Lee. Also, note that "The Man who Came Uptown," "Elevation," "Caddyshack," and "Chasing Hillary" are missing from almost all "Best Of" lists this year. Would I choose one of these--or would I choose "The Witch Elm," which *did* make many critics' lists? I think you know my answer.
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