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On Musicals

A musical I hate:

"The Lion King." I admire Julie Taymor's work in "The Lion King," but I think the material itself is unworthy of Taymor. It's like dressing a turd in a Balenciaga gown. I find "The Lion King" especially appalling after the work of Howard Ashman--a genius who breathed new life into Disney, and who wrote with effortless grace.

"The Lion King" is a series of snoozy platitudes. "From the day we arrive on the planet...and....blinking...step into the sun...." (Thanks for that "blinking," Tim Rice!) I especially hate when Timon bans Pumbaa from rhyming "down-hearted" with "farted," as if "farted" were a scandalous word. (That's the evening's one big attempt at humor.) This show sometimes makes me want to slit my wrists.

It's a tradition for Disney to pad its adaptations of film material with weaker new songs when moving to Broadway. I'm glad B'way's "The Lion King" introduced the world to the wonders of Jason Raize and Heather Headley--but their half-baked power ballads add very little to the story. As in almost every other scene, the moments when we get "Endless Night" and "Shadowlands" are just moments when characters step forward and say exactly what we predict they will say. Where is the sense of imagination? Where is an element of playfulness and surprise?

A musical I think is overrated:

"My Fair Lady." I cannot find any sex or bitchiness or menace in "Wouldn't It Be Loverly." It's just sweet and bland and cute. And the rest of the evening is like that, as well.

A musical I think is underrated:

"Kiss of the Spider-Woman." Yes, it won Tony Awards, and it's well-regarded....but some of these songs should be standards. All American children should know the words to "Where You Are" and "Dressing Them Up." And we're far, far from that important day. It won't be tomorrow. Or even the day after that.

A musical I love:

"Little Shop of Horrors." Let me be clear that I don't like musicals very much. The few that I like tend to be written by Stephen Sondheim (who says he doesn't write musicals, but theater with music),  Frank Loesser, Kander & Ebb, or Howard Ashman. Ashman could have become Sondheim's heir. He died too young.

A musical I cherish:

"Follies." The book doesn't match the quality of the songs--big surprise--but this is where Sondheim was really on fire. "Loveland....where seven hundred days hath June!" "The love she couldn't make fun of--she'd have none of...." "Life is ducky, and time goes flying...and I'm so lucky....I feel like crying..." There is such stinging precision and emotional candor and such a sense of pain in this writing. Song after song after song. "Could I bury my rage with a boy half your age in the grass? Bet your ass...."

Sondheim is so fearless and passionate in this work, it's hard to compare it to other musicals. It's like when many children's books where dull primers, and Dr. Seuss came along and blew up everything with "Cat in the Hat."

I don't love when Sondheim casts non-singing stars, and we have to suffer through croaking talk-singing versions of his ballads...and I feel that happened with the original Broadway production of "Follies" ....but, still, I'd give just about anything to travel back in time to see that Michael Bennett dreamscape. "Follies" was such a legend, someone went on to write a full-length memoir just about being a stagehand on that production. That's what we're talking about here.

A musical I could listen to on repeat:

"The Last Five Years." The Norbert Leo Butz version.

A musical that made me fall in love with musicals:

"Into the Woods." (Duh.)

A musical that changed my life:

"Into the Woods." I saw it as a small child at ArtPark, outside Buffalo, NY. ArtPark tended to do dusty, tedious, old shows--"Damn Yankees" (Good Lord) or "Me and My Girl" (which was like watching paint dry). But then there was "Into the Woods," with that sassy, angry Witch, and I thought, I don't really get this....but I can appreciate that it's something different. The beginning of a decades-long Sondheim obsession, for me.

Guilty pleasure:

"Dreamgirls." Even the Audra version, where she's so clearly miscast. I could listen again and again to "When I First Saw You." And the big fight scene. "Who you callin' COMMON...you self-indulgent, self-absorbed NON-PROFESSIONAL???"

And there you have it. The honest truth. Your answers, please!




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