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How to Be a Writer

Your boss is from another era.

"I don't like science," he says, breezily. "I'm just not a science guy." He is an academic dean.

Having recently seen an indie film, he has thoughts: "I just don't understand why those people use the N word with one another. Doesn't that seem offensive?"

Consider white-splaining: Consider a speech in which you speculate about minority groups, and about how sometimes a word is "re-claimed." All of this seems unwise. Stay silent. You have a convenient fund of cowardice whenever people say something offensive. Just recently, the nanny you're hiring muttered something about "other cultures" and about how "some people" feel it's "acceptable" to keep the house temperature at "like, 900 degrees all the time." And did you say anything? You did not.

Leave unstamped mail in a mailbox, accidentally. Nervously bend your metro card, so that it ceases to function. Lose your two-hundred-fifty dollar train pass. Become embroiled in useless New York Times debates about surrogacy.

Your husband and your shrink would both very much like for you to write a novel, but instead it seems best to research: (a) the time "Phoebe Waller-Bridge Made Meryl Streep Laugh," (b) "Behind the Scenes of Choosing the Best Memoirs of the Past Fifty Years," (c) "Judi Dench: Ten Essential Performances."

Think about your dog. You imagine him trying to learn the alphabet, in day care. Over and over, he tries: "ABCB La La La! ABCB MNLOPeeeeee!"

It's so fun to picture your dog, flailing, imagining that one consistent wrong effort will suddenly produce new results.

Is there a metaphor here?

No time to think about this. Go back to Google-searching Judi Dench.
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Comments

  1. Unkie JJune 28, 2019 at 8:22 AM

    Your uncle-in-law would also like to see the novel. Perhaps, "What Made Meryl Streep Laugh (While Crashing in a Fleabag")?

    ReplyDelete
  2. ReaderJune 28, 2019 at 10:22 AM

    Thank you! "Fleabag" is so inspiring (in the sense that it's exhilarating to see someone so honest and courageous in the lead role). Marc and I just watched the first one.

    ReplyDelete

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