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On Punctuation

A secretary has very little power. Most of the power he, or she, wields...comes from wording and punctuation. Here is what I have learned.

(1) A question mark is maybe a bad idea. Consider the difference between: "Can you please send this back to me?" AND "Can you please send this back to me." That period--instead of a question mark--is so stern! People snap into line! And people can't accuse you of being bossy or rude because you used "can you please..." Pretty magical.

(2) Faux-cheeriness is generally a wise move. An email that ends with "thank you!" or "have a good day!" is smart, I feel. Unless the other person knows I'm really irritated, and then I suspect that he, or she, knows that a "thank you!" is fully disingenuous.

(3) Including the recipient's name in the subject line is strangely flattering, and it might get you a speedy response. "To Peter -- Sept. 26..." How could you argue with that subject line? (Another tactic: a subject line that says, "Please Reply Today." Again, people don't really reflect too much, in their daily lives, and people really like clear, crisp boundaries and well-defined expectations.)

(4) Ann Patchett says, in her new novel, "You cannot be effective when you're upset." Calm--or fake-calm--is the name of the game. And calmness can be conveyed through clear, thoughtful paragraphing and simple, direct sentences. Every time. Or almost every time.

This is all I know about secretarial work.
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