Frances McDormand

I can't stop writing and talking about the actor Chloe Fineman; you should know she also does a version of Frances McDormand.

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Ms. McDormand--dressed like a Greaser, from "The Outsiders"--appears for a film audition. (The movie title isn't given.) "Can I start?" she says to the camera, with crazed, inappropriate intensity.

"My name is Frances.....Mc....Dormand." Fully body shakes begin. "I'm so nervous, I'm hyperventilating....If I fall over, pick me up cuz I. Got Something. To Say." (It's nice to imagine Frances sputtering out her monologue while twitching on the ground; this does seem to capture something about the actual Frances McDormand.)

At this point, Frances begins racing, in an unintelligible way, through the opening of "Romeo and Juliet": "Two households in Verona....." This devolves into nonsense syllables: "TWO! HOUSE! HOLDS! HOO! HA! HOHHHH!"

"I come from the theater!" Frances shouts. "I'm old-fashioned. I love it. What else? What else? What else? I dunno." And the scene abruptly ends.

It's not clear that you have to know anything about Frances McDormand to appreciate this skit. (Here's what I know, from a Ruth Reichl memoir. A stranger approached Frances on a plane, and asked for an autograph. Instead of just graciously signing the napkin, Frances delivered a bizarre lecture: "I'm just an actor, I'm not as interesting as you. You should pay more attention to your own life. That's what is interesting." Imperious--and a little daffy and even charming? This is how I think of Frances McDormand.)

I just like that there's a character--in Chloe Fineman's imagination--who would take the simple act of auditioning and use it as a weird opportunity to do various dramatic finger snaps, jaw twitchings, and startling non-human shifts in "tempo." An immortal figure is born. You won't forget her.

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