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The Genius of Stephen Sondheim

 Stephen Sondheim--who turns 91 this month, on March 22--had an early triumph with "You Could Drive a Person Crazy."

Sondheim's great subject is ambivalence--and, here, a trio of speakers are lamenting the wishy-washy behaviors of a "Mr. Big" figure. This guy turns on the charm--and disappears.

You could drive a person crazy....
You could drive a person mad...
First, you make a person hazy....
So a person could be had.
Then you leave a person dangling sadly
Outside your door....
Which could only make a person gladly
Want you even more....

The speakers are generally unwilling to admit they're speaking about themselves--so some of the humor comes from the awkward repetition of "a person." ("I'm asking for a friend....")

Because he is a genius, Sondheim actually becomes enchanted with the word "person," and he returns to it again and again. "When a person says that you've upset her...that's when you're good....You impersonate a person better....than a zombie should...." "When a person's personality is personable....he shouldn't oughta sit like a lump. It's harder than a matador coercin' a bull to try to get you offa yer rump...." (COERCIN' A BULL is arguably the most famous string-of-words in the Sondheim corpus.)

This song has other little treats. On heterosexual intercourse:

I could understand a person...
If it's not a person's bag.
I could understand a person...
If a person were a f*g....

(Sensitive directors have edited out the word "f*g" ....but I like Sondheim's original choice. I could imagine these speakers, enraged, landing on a bit of ugly language. I do like Bernadette Peters's approach to the line. She begins to say "f*g" ....then--furiously--covers her mouth. Way, way off the beat, she gets an idea. "DRAG!" she screams. "If a person were a DRAG!!!")

I also like when the speakers crack and admit they're just talking about themselves:

All that sweet affection...
What is wrong?
Where's the loose connection....
(HOW LONG, OH LORD, HOW LONG????)

To be clear: Really no one writes like this. No one but that one guy in Manhattan.

Happy (early) birthday to Stephen Sondheim.
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