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Maplewood Moms

 One reason I like the current season of "You" is that the suburban satire feels accurate.


In a memorable scene, a new transplant bakes vegan cupcakes for a very picky eater.

But the eater becomes furious: "You fed sugar to my children! Raspberries have SUGAR! We are a no-fruit house!!!!!"

In my own town, people are upset because of an apparent theft of political signs.

"I'm sure it's just teenagers," wrote one snarky Maplewood Mom. "I mean, I can't imagine any of you adults are stealing the no-turf signs....."

A (possibly) defensive respondent ignored the snark and introduced a *new* topic: "It's not just the NO-TURF signs that are disappearing....It's the PRO-TURF signs, as well....."

Elsewhere, a pediatrician is under fire because she keeps some families waiting, and because her secretary has a brisk manner.

"I mean, my child could have been dying in that room.....and where is the apology?"

"The assistant asked for my ID, and when I couldn't produce it in two seconds....she looked like she wanted to kill me....."

My favorite stories concern a Black family who posted a sign--in the George Floyd weeks--that said...."Black People, Be Brave."

Certain liberal viewers became agitated. "The burden shouldn't be on Black People. It's White People who need to do the work. The sign should say: WHITE PEOPLE, BE BRAVE."

A rather logical participant asked: "If you don't like the sign, why not knock on the family's door and talk to them about the sign?"

This was met with derision. "That could lead to a misunderstanding.....and even violence!"

I believe the sign stayed up.

Recently, writers have turned their attention to Halloween: Do we still need "contact-free candy chutes" at this stage in the pandemic? When is "too early" for ringing doorbells? There is murmuring about a curfew? Is there a Halloween curfew? How do I signal that I'm just not home?

I'm tracking the answers, and: Guess what? Generally, they are not satisfying.
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