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Dad Diary

 My family has started to wade in the waters of sex education.


I've read that it's smart to talk, and talk, about sex, so that kids do not begin to conclude that certain natural behaviors are filthy and worthy of shame. For example, I'm told, a two-year-old should start to get familiar with the terms "vulva," "vagina," penis," "clitoris," "bum," and "nipples." These should just be parts, like any other parts, like your head, shoulders, knees, and toes.

To demystify the word "penis," and to convey the sense that the world is wide, you could mention to your child: "Not everyone with a penis is a boy." I said this, and my husband choked on his coffee; "I just, I thought you might begin with some context," he whispered. Then: "I guess I have to learn not to giggle when I hear the word penis."

I am not a barricade-building revolutionary, but some tired ideas about gender really bother me. It bothers me that clothing manufacturers put spandex into items made for my daughter; already, certain outfits seem engineered to alter the kid's silhouette, and this is strange and disturbing. (I've not encountered this in Joshie's clothing.) It bothers me that, when taking my child through airport security, I have to face a guard who asks me, "Where is your wife?" Note that this guy seems so very far from an apology--or even half an apology--when I explain the situation. It bothers me when my daughter and I watch "Titanic," and the male screenwriter makes Rose into a helpless twit, a vessel in need of Jack's masterful instruction, in scene after scene after scene.

Have I strayed from talking about human anatomy?

This is what we're all doing here, at least for the month of April.

P.S. A note about choking on your coffee: This has nothing to do with the diverse world we all live in, but it's just a bit jarring to hear the word "penis" when you're sitting with a toddler. Trust me -- unless your childhood was very different from mine, you might giggle a bit, at first.
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