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Stuff I'm Reading

 It's difficult to write about mundane life in a lively way; this is a gift that Anne Lamott has, and it's also something I see in Lamott's friend, Meredith Maran.


Maran's memoir, "The New Old Me," doesn't involve a long period of captivity, or a family member throwing herself off the edge of the Grand Canyon, or a battle with life-threatening body dysmorphia (or sexual abuse). It's just about a woman who divorces at sixty, and who moves to Los Angeles to start a new life.

Maran hints that her ex had an addiction issue, and she spends some time in Al-Anon. "Having given several years to marketing work, I admire the 'recovery' slogans. They're better than anything I could write. GOD is the Gift of Desperation. If it feels urgent, it's not urgent. Don't just do something. STAND THERE!"

Maran has a special talent for poking fun at herself, so she shows moments where she believes she can magically win back her wife. She leaves voice-mail messages that are unacknowledged. She terminates a first date because a part of her feels "married." In one painful scene, she texts the ex to say that a mutual friend has died. Her heart leaps up when she gets an immediate response: "Heading out right now!" But, in fact, the response was meant for a third party; the "dialogue" ends right there.

Maran gives a warts-and-all presentation, and it's charming. We see her doubting her choice to be in a "functional-ish" relationship, but also deciding not to act on her doubts. We see her wondering how much vodka is too much; again, she doesn't really find an answer, and this is "relatable." We see her groping through a final chat with her dying father; these two have a strained relationship, and any conversation is tricky. Maran seems to have preserved the transcript of "the last talk," and it's a privilege to witness all the clumsiness, right there on the page.

I've had a seismic change in my late thirties; two babies have arrived in my life, and for the first time in years, I'm not always sure how to spend my days. I don't have an office to complain about. I don't have a script to follow. I have to write the script--which is a great stroke of luck. Also, it's something that makes me feel like whining.

For these reasons, it was a comfort to read Maran's book. I will keep thinking about this talented writer as I make my way through Year 41.
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