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 The first time I saw "Marriage Story," I had a baby; I hadn't lived through any toddler years. Now, in 2023, I see that this movie is a stunner.


A woman (Nicole) describes, in writing, what she appreciates about her ex (Charlie): "He loves even the awful things, the tantrums, the spills, the sick days, the accidents, the bad dreams. He loves everything about his kid." She is asked to read this note aloud, as a part of "conscious uncoupling." When she resists, her ex unites with the counselor to put pressure on her. "I'm leaving the room now," says Nicole. "Enjoy your little circle jerk."

Every step in this process has a kind of "script," but Noah Baumbach is aware of life's absurdity, life's way of resisting any type of blueprint. There is a delicate process for "serving" divorce papers--but Nicole has to exit the room to deal with her recalcitrant son's constipation episode, so the papers get thrust (in a brutal, shocking way) at their target. Hosting a visit from Child Protection Services, Charlie awkwardly explains that his son loves when he performs a trick with a jackknife. "But I never extend the blade, see? It's perfectly safe." In a nervous moment, Charlie does actually extend the blade, then he slices it through his own skin (before he realizes what he has done). "It's nothing. It's hardly even dribbling. I'm fine."

Later, Charlie envisions a Halloween in Los Angeles. He has his costume designer invent fabulous retro "Invisible Man" suits for father and son. ("If you factor in time and labor, these costumes are priceless.") Meanwhile, the little boy decides his preference would be to dress as a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle, via CVS, and to spend the evening with his cousins. Charlie compromises--but by the time he gets Halloween custody of his child, all of the houses are locked, and the neighbors are sleeping. Charlie wanders into a Kwik E Mart--carrying his comatose son on one shoulder--and he asks if he could have a Snickers bar.

One of the script's many insights is that this is a tale of marriage, though it seems to be a tale of divorce. Despite her rancor, Nicole can't help but pause to tie Charlie's shoe. And in a bitter lawyer-mediated fight, Charlie cannot find a salad to order from the takeout menu; Nicole casually selects the sandwich (and beverage, and side dish) on behalf of her former spouse.

It makes me just a little bit sad to think that this writer went on to devote many, many hours to "Barbie." But nobody's perfect. Noah Baumbach's career is a strange and sometimes splendid thing.

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