Skip to main content

TV Diary

 In Woody Allen's great film "Husbands and Wives," Judy Davis announces that she is leaving Sydney Pollack.


Two members of Davis's audience--Allen and Mia Farrow--can't wrap their heads around this news. The rupture in Davis's life has strange consequences. Allen and Farrow begin to argue, and ultimately they decide that *they* will split (while, oddly enough, Davis goes back to Pollack). The main idea is that, no matter how cool and calculated you are, you can't really control your life. To make God laugh, tell Him your plans.

It's the genius of "The Simpsons" to rework this story as a cartoon. In "A Milhouse Divided," it's Luann and Kirk who are splitting up. This is revealed at a dinner party, where Marge tries to make chit chat about the new "Woods-y Allen" movie. ("I always enjoy his work, except for that one whiny guy who seems to get all the starring roles....")

Will Luann's dissatisfaction trigger a marital epiphany for Marge? The suspense builds and builds. Homer tries to strengthen his marriage by purchasing tickets to a local NPR festival ("Mostly Madrigals," "An Evening with Philip Glass" ....)

When the tickets fail to do their job, Homer attempts to woo his crush by making loud synthetic "ocean" sounds, during naptime. This only irritates Marge.

The ending--both surprising and inevitable--manages to "rewrite" Woody Allen while staying funny and smart.

This is a brilliant script.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

How to Host a Baby

-You have assumed responsibility for a mewling, puking ball of life, a yellow-lab pup. He will spit his half-digested kibble all over your shoes, all over your hard-cover edition of Jennifer Haigh's novel  Faith . He will eat your tables, your chairs, your "I {Heart] Montessori" magnet, placed too low on the fridge. When you try to watch Bette Davis in  Hush Hush Sweet Charlotte , on your TV, your dog will bark through the murder-prologue, for no apparent reason. He will whimper through Lena Dunham's  Girls , such that you have to rewind several times to catch every nuance of Andrew Rannells's ad-libbing--and, still, you'll have a nagging suspicion you've missed something. Your dog will poop on the kitchen floor, in the hallway, between the tiny bars of his crate. He'll announce his wakefulness at 5 AM, 2 AM, or while you and another human are mid-coitus. All this, and you get outside, and it's: "Don't let him pee on my tulips!" When...

The Death of Bergoglio

  It's frustrating for me to hear Bergoglio described as "the less awful pope"--because awful is still awful. I think I get fixated on ideas of purity, which can be juvenile, but putting that aside, here are some things that Bergoglio could have done and did not. (I'm quoting from a survivor of sexual abuse at the hands of the Church.) He could levy the harshest penalty, excommunication, against a dozen or more of the most egregious abuse enabling church officials. (He's done this to no enablers, or predators for that matter.) He could insist that every diocese and religious order turn over every record they have about suspected and known abusers to law enforcement. Francis could order every prelate on the planet to post on his diocesan website the names of every proven, admitted and credibly accused child molesting cleric. (Imagine how much safer children would be if police, prosecutors, parents and the public knew the identities of these potentially dangerous me...

Raymond Carver: "What's in Alaska?"

Outside, Mary held Jack's arm and walked with her head down. They moved slowly on the sidewalk. He listened to the scuffing sounds her shoes made. He heard the sharp and separate sound of a dog barking and above that a murmuring of very distant traffic.  She raised her head. "When we get home, Jack, I want to be fucked, talked to, diverted. Divert me, Jack. I need to be diverted tonight." She tightened her hold on his arm. He could feel the dampness in that shoe. He unlocked the door and flipped the light. "Come to bed," she said. "I'm coming," he said. He went to the kitchen and drank two glasses of water. He turned off the living-room light and felt his way along the wall into the bedroom. "Jack!" she yelled. "Jack!" "Jesus Christ, it's me!" he said. "I'm trying to get the light on." He found the lamp, and she sat up in bed. Her eyes were bright. He pulled the stem on the alarm and b...