One source of wonder, in parenting, is the constant chit-chat about "rigidity." It's a subject on "Daniel Tiger," and it's certainly a recurring topic in the various therapies my family has pursued.
"When something seems bad," says PBS, "turn it around, and find something good!" I think this is bullshit. I actually think it's a form of bullying--even if delivered via Mr. Rogers's voice.
Often, adults can be as rigid as they'd like--because they're calling the shots. If I'm determined to watch "Elsbeth," and you suggest that we ought to devote our evening to the new Netflix series "Ripley," I'm not going to acquiesce, in a cheerful way. ("It's not the show I want to see....but....look! The buildings are pretty!")
My son has discovered the joys of argument; he doesn't always have exactly the right words, but he knows when "pushback" is appropriate. He understands that "why not" is a statement of dissent; he hasn't teased out the exact meaning of the two words, but he knows they are powerful.
"Daddy is away right now....He is on a work trip in Florida."
"WHY NOT?"
I have no idea what I'll do with him all summer. I'm trying to tell him that there are a few "big-ticket" events in life: reading, writing, coffee, trips to the bookstore. We're not in agreement--not yet.
To combat the sour taste that PBS can leave behind, we have:
*"Sylvester and the Magic Pebble." A book just as strong as its title.
*'Strega Nona." Two wonderful starring characters, and a touch of "the supernatural." And it looks easy.
*"Max Can Read." A smart story about self-reliance--which avoids preachiness.
Wish us luck....
"Wish us luck...." Why Not?
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