Sebastian Junger: "In My Time of Dying"

 One day, during the reign of Covid, Sebastian Junger was home on Cape Cod, and his pancreatic artery ruptured. He had been experiencing severe pain, off and on, for a long while, but he was extremely fit, and he had an aversion to "complaining," so he hadn't acted on his worries.

(How scary it is to think about bodies. One story Junger tells is about a young man experiencing headaches. He goes in for testing, and the doctors say, "You're fine." But one particular doctor has misgivings, and demands an additional test. It's this final test that helps to identify a major aneurysm near the brain--and then experts intervene at the last possible moment, while the aneurysm is in the process of rupturing.)

Junger was fortunate to have his emergency during daylight hours--when the most capable doctors were available. (In NYC, people joke that you want to have your medical event during daylight, and you want to have it in Manhattan. You don't want your hour of need to occur while you are visiting Brooklyn.)

As Junger hovered between life and death, he entertained a visit from his (dead) father. Dad suggested that it was all right to let go. Additionally, Junger sat with a gruff nurse, who said, "Don't see this as frightening. See this as sacred." (Having been restored to health, Junger later asked for help with locating this particular nurse. No one at the hospital knew what he was talking about.)

Because Junger is a writer, he "probes" this memory. One phenomenon he investigates is the experience of "universal consciousness." Many people who endure near-death minutes later report having had access to forbidden knowledge. For example, apparently, one patient could locate a missing wallet in another wing of the hospital--because he could see through walls, through the fabric in various articles of clothing, through the wooden drawers in a dresser. One wonders how this story was "verified."

Junger asks how the brain can do the work of engineering vivid hallucinations when the brain is also struggling to survive. If the brain is deprived of oxygen, and failing, why would there be a sudden surge in activity?

Junger also wonders (indirectly) why children are so much smarter than adults. He recalls his little daughter making an observation: "I know why we have night. It's so that other people can have day." He also notes the trenchant sign his daughter has left for him, on the day he returns home from the hospital: "BE HAPPY."

This isn't a book with many answers--which makes it delightful. It's fun to spend time with a curious, and extraordinary, mind. I hope Junger keeps writing.