Liars and Saints

 The novelist Simon Rich owes a debt to George Saunders (and in fact tips his hat to Saunders); Rich writes slightly absurd stories about life in America, but there is emotional insight running alongside the absurdity. One of Rich's crowning achievements is "A Father's Watch," a script for "The Simpsons." In this story, a parenting expert arrives in Springfield and scolds the citizens for not having adequately praised the local children. From now on, there will be trophies for "breathing" and for "trying." Lisa Simpson cries foul--because she feels she has *earned* all of her (old-school) trophies. Marge says, "Really? The soccer trophy?" And Lisa becomes evasive and irritable.  "I COULDN'T go to most of those games...because they conflicted with SNACKTIME...." Elsewhere, Rich pokes fun at literary types. In his story "The Baby," a father gets upset when he realizes his new fetus is showing signs of artis...

 I recently panned Maury Yeston's "Titanic," because the writing seemed cartoonish and dull. ("Everything is gorgeous in the Grand Salon....Stunningly appointed for the cream....Thousands of bucks gets a trip deluxe without par!!!!") But I think Yeston used more discipline when he wrote "Unusual Way," from "Nine." Here, a guy (Guido) is hearing from his mistress, Claudia: You don't know what you do to me;  You don't have a clue. You can't tell what it's like to be me Looking at you. It scares me so that I can hardly speak... The use of parallel structure conveys a sense of exasperation: "You don't. You don't. You can't." Ambivalence is suggested through apparently contradictory thoughts: In a very unusual way I think I'm in love with you. In a very unusual way I want to cry... And, again, here: In a very unusual way I owe what I am to you. Though at times it appears I won't stay, I never go... Not...

 I think the real reason Biden annoyed me, these last several weeks, is that I myself know something about decline. I'm not in the throes of cognitive decline, but I'm dealing with hair loss. I find this completely unacceptable, but there is the evidence, in the mirror, saying, "Accept me." For some reason, Facebook began sending me ads for "Hims," which appears to be a kind of potion to "restimulate" your hair follicles. (This makes me think of Pirelli's Miracle Elixir, in "Sweeney Todd.") Also, I received an article about celebrities who have openly discussed their hair plugs. Cheyenne Jackson has admitted to attempting the "plug" route on five separate occasions; I think this candor is charming. Another celebrity says, in a defensive way, "I had all the hair I needed, it was just on the *back* of my head. I just had to take some from the back and put it on the front..." (Thus, Birnham Wood came to Dunsinane.) I ...

 Sondheim's musicals are such treasures, there exists a special set of consumer material, the "making of" library. So far, we have a book about the origins of "Follies," a book about the origins of "Sunday in the Park with George," and a lengthy (lengthy) podcast about "Into the Woods." If you're truly obsessive, you can spend forty minutes listening to Patti LuPone--who really has nothing to do with "Into the Woods"--sharing her thoughts on "Into the Woods." (Who would miss this opportunity?) My special devotion is reserved for "Everything Was Possible," an account of the birth of "Follies." Just one year after "Company," Sondheim was back with "Follies." Initially, the show was to be a murder mystery, entitled, "The Girls Upstairs." (Hal Prince thought the rough-draft title evoked visions of a whorehouse.) A well-connected undergrad--perhaps oblivious to how privilege...

 Yesterday, one of my children had a "diaper accident" that required immediate attention; the car was lacking a replacement pair of shorts, so I had to remove another child's shorts, wiggle Child One into the incorrect shorts, then hope that Child Two would tolerate "diaper time" for thirty minutes of a "car interlude." Child Two was in fact feeling intolerant--so the thirty minutes, which I had imagined as blissful reading time, instead became a frantic car trip back to the house, to find a replacement pair of shorts. The shorts I selected were inadequate, so Child Two resumed her tantrum, but when I tried to go in search of a third pair of shorts, the second pair of shorts suddenly attained "new status," and my apparent crime became the withholding of the second pair of shorts. "Gypsy" speaks to me now more than ever. It's easy to drift through life without having given serious attention to your dreams (and then the world beco...

 The local swimming pool makes me think of "La Grande Latte" -- so many souls packed into one small rectangle. A listless teen lifeguard scolds a father: "No toys in the wading pool." The father--having survived a bad day?--chooses to push back. "It's not a toy. It's a swim aid." The lifeguard shrugs and repeats himself. Amazingly, this fight continues . Moms overhear the news that Kamala Harris may be the new candidate. Desperately, the moms realize they cannot obtain their cell phones without abandoning their half-submerged toddlers. One mom pushes forward bravely, toward land, like Nala, in the Second Act of "The Lion King." The others call out: "Bring back news!" An elderly Maplewood resident has words with the ticket-taker. "Do you really think *every* Tuesday *needs* to be DJ Night ? My friends and I like to swim in peace...." For me, this is like viewing a (free) movie, and I really hadn't planned on the ent...

  I have no idea if Catherine Breillat likes "Fatal Attraction," but I myself am a fan, and it's fun to see Breillat "updating" FA in her new film. A woman (Anne) in her late forties has a reasonably happy life; she lives in comfort outside Paris, and she has two adorable adopted children. Her husband, Pierre, probably talks too much, and too dryly, about business, but that seems to be a small price to pay. And: Act One ends. A stranger comes to town. The stranger, Theo, is Pierre's own son from an earlier marriage. Theo resents Pierre for having jumped ship. Theo also recognizes that he has sexual power over Anne, and he begins an affair, maybe to screw with his dad, maybe because of actual romantic feelings, and maybe because of a jumble of unexamined, chaotic impulses. (Theo is just seventeen.) What follows is a power struggle. It's excruciating to watch. Anne knows she needs to disentangle herself from Theo, but she can't help herself; she is dra...

 Character and voice are everything; plot is a secondary consideration. An example: "1943" from "Caroline, or Change." The story is simple: A woman marries an inadequate Navy man who can't get his act together after WWII. He becomes a drunk; he tries to work for the ammonia factory, but the union excludes Black men. Later, there is domestic abuse. He abandons his family. As Caroline relives this story, we overhear her prayer: God whose eye is on the sparrow-- Please make Emmie go to bed. Folk will stare tomorrow; Jesus, please fix up my swollen head. Please: a job, so he stops drinking. Please.....he don't like digging sewers.... We see Caroline's hopelessness and her ferocity; as she begins to imagine a better situation for herself, the melody speeds up. Caroline will give orders; she will tell God what to do. Please give me a mop and bucket. Please: a white-folks'-house to tend. Please: some money. Feed the babies. Choke his throat when he drink li...

  The college essay is tricky because (1) it's counterintuitive to expose your deepest flaws, and (2) actual reflection takes work. The temptation is to recite achievements, which will not win you fans. I spent the weekend reading a memoir about a woman who found her soulmate when she was sixteen; he was in his forties. She writes about how various cops thought her lover was her father, how she became a stepmother to a "child" who was actually older than she was. Now *that* is a memoir. But: try digging down to that core of honesty if your "thought partner" is a high-school homecoming queen. One of my kids does inherently understand the process. He writes, "I celebrate nerdiness. I'd like to tell you about my rock collection...." I have no doubt that this kid will land precisely where he wants to land. But another writes, "The poverty in the Dominican was really upsetting to me--until I came to understand that all of these people were unbeliev...

  "Freaks and Geeks" is remarkable for so many reasons.  The sequence where one boy discovers that his father is having an affair--and he seeks revenge via "ventriloquist act." The attempt to talk about an intersex character (remember this was 1999). The passage where a mother reads her little girl's diary--and the ensuing discomfort leads to marital changes. We're all used to kids making bad choices, but "F and G" points out that stupidity is just part of the human condition; the guidance counselor is too full of self-regard, the adult party guest is too transparently rude, the intolerant dad is too impatient and dismissive when his son wants to discuss the music industry. For this reason, a more accurate title for the show could be: "Freaks and Geeks and the Adults Who Mistreat Them." I appreciate the NYTimes for putting a spotlight on the role of parents and teachers in this show; it's often overlooked, and it's part of the cha...

  Bonnie Raitt is finally receiving her Kennedy Center Honors; one highlight from her career is her cover of "Runaway." The speaker misses her straying lover. There is a subtle sense of "pathetic fallacy"; the world is drenched. "I'm a-walking in the rain; tears are falling, and I feel the pain...."  The bridge underlines a sense of uncertainty: "I wonder.... I wonder.... I wonder...." It's Raitt's decision to add a brief, effective ending: "Come back, Baby. You left me standing in the rain...." Something so apparently simple is usually the result of careful, thoughtful work. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jt8sfHG-wsk

 Recently, I had a waiter who clearly hated his job. I know because, literally after each sentence in our conversation, he said, "AMAZING!" "I'll take the check, please...." "AMAZING!" Also, he alleged that I had lied when I said that a "club soda" was in fact a 7-UP. "Oh, really?" he asked. "Because that's not what I heard from the bartender...." I think of this guy when I think of Joe Biden. There is a surface-level performance--"I'm in it until I hear from God Almighty!" And then there is the subtext, which seems to say,  Please, please, get me out of here.... "I'm the first Black woman to serve under a Black President..." "Meet my running mate, Vice President Trump...." "I'll turn it over to the leader of Ukraine, Mr. Putin...." I certainly know what it's like to feel conflicted. You sweep things under the rug. You start barking, "FINISH THE JOB!" Yo...

  Several years ago, Hillary Clinton was giving a talk about her mother, and she told a story about her mother's resilience. Her mother said something like: "I believe in treating people with dignity. Everyone's life matters. All lives matter." Critics pounced. Clinton's last sentence was (in one narrative) a covert repudiation of the Black Lives Matter movement. A litmus test was devised. Clinton was later asked, in front of cameras: "Do Black lives matter? Or do ALL lives matter?"  The obvious, common-sense answer--"both!"--was not an option. This was like something from a Nabokov novel. Elsewhere, a Hamline professor of art history made a respectful announcement to students: "In a moment, I will show an image of the prophet Muhammad." Students had an opportunity to leave--first. Despite the announcement, some students decided that they were irreparably harmed by the teacher's choice--and the teacher was not retained. When criti...

  Writing is all about characters; all the plots are taken. Really, there are no new plots. That's what makes "Chrysanthemum" special. The story couldn't be more pedestrian. A little mouse is bullied; finally, a smart teacher intercedes. It's the character details that earn this book the status of a classic. To avoid school, a mouse slowly traces her name in sand (on a long, long walk from home). The bullying happens because of her name--so it's the name itself that finds its way onto the sand. At home, the mouse's slightly obsessive, nerdy father tries to enrich tiny vocabularies even while teaching lessons about social anxiety. (Pa Mouse holds a copy of a book called "Building a Resilient Rodent.")  At school, the specific moments of bullying are sort of delightful: "Her name has thirteen letters. That's  half the alphabet ." "A flower grows in a garden--with  worms ." "Thank God I'm named after my  grandmother ...

 After the news of Alice Munro's monstrous behavior toward her daughter, some critics are looking at the story "Vandals," about sexual abuse. But my own thoughts are on "The Children Stay," from 1997, five years after Munro's daughter apparently made her filial confession. In "The Children Stay," a woman is attached to an inadequate husband. But she falls for a flashy, sexually powerful artist. If she leaves the husband for the artist, she will lose contact with her small children. She is torn between the correct choice--an awareness of her parental duties--and the overwhelming, unforgivable choice--the affair. She chooses ego. She leaves her kids. This is acute pain. It will become chronic. Chronic will be permanent but perhaps not constant. It may also mean that you won’t die of it. You won’t get free of it, but you won’t die of it. You won’t feel it every minute, but you won’t spend many days without it. And you’ll learn some tricks to dull it o...

My favorite spot in Santa Fe is the Cocteau Cinema, one of few indie film theaters in NM, owned and resuscitated by George R.R. Martin. Movie lovers are interested in "Sight and Sound," a publication that ranks the all-time great films (every few years). Martin has made a parody of this effort--"Splice and Splatter"--a podcast with discussions of horror movies. The poster features Kathy Bates, Ghostface, Sissy Spacek, Janet Leigh, and (a personal favorite) one of the three masked killers from "The Strangers." Right now, the Cocteau Cinema will give you a glass of wine and a screening of the Paul Giamatti "Rewatchable" prizewinner, "Sideways."  Next to the Cocteau you will spot "Beastly Books," another strong idea from George Martin. Here, you'll see a corner devoted to "banned" novels--"The Giver," "The Dead Zone," "The Satanic Verses," "Maus," and so on. There is a coffee ...

 One thing my spouse has--that I lack--is gracious forbearance. We are arguing about Joe Biden. "I love the guy," says my husband. "I think he's a great man." "Oh? I think he is a bully who antagonized Anita Hill. Also, he was condescending to Elizabeth Warren. He wanted to help credit card companies trample all over normal Americans, by making it more difficult to declare bankruptcy. Warren fought with him, and Warren was right. Not only did Joe pick the wrong team, but he did it in a way that was high-handed, patronizing. I think he is sort of an asshole." There is no way I understand the magnitude of Biden's achievement, and of course it's juvenile to pick a few rotten moments from an ambitious life, and then make sweeping generalizations. But my other half simply nods, and ponders the issue. By contrast, I have no patience when Marc dares to say, "I'm just not wild about Whitney Houston." "Excuse me? She is almost univers...

  A favorite subject of Sondheim's was unrequited love; we see it in Mary ("Merrily We Roll Along"), Lovett, Sally Durant, Fosca, John Hinckley, Jr. A standout in this canon is Charlotte, who is possibly both the wisest and the dumbest character in "A Little Night Music." She has married a straying brute, and despite her formidable strength, she just can't stand up to this guy. She loves him. He smiles sweetly, strokes my hair... Says he misses me. I would murder him right there-- But, first, I die. He talks softly of his wars-- And his horses--and his whores... Charlotte's "little death" is the death of pride; she is humiliated, on a regular basis. But a little death is also an orgasm; Charlotte feels an erotic charge in her spouse's company. The song evokes thoughts of Chekhov--how the private life runs parallel to "the river of public behavior." Charlotte contrasts the superficial details of her morning with the storm that is h...

  Ariana Grande has one of the songs of the year, according to the NYTimes--and it's a letter to a former friend. (Critics have suggested it's really a way of talking about a star's relationship with the media, and it's easy to see that layer in the verses.) Ariana gives her reasons for "an Irish exit." The most recent fight was explosive. "I don't wanna tiptoe, but I don't wanna hide--but I don't want to feed this monstrous fire." What makes the song so interesting is that Ariana concedes something like ambivalence. She isn't simply empowered by walking away; she obviously feels regret (or one-half of her feels regret). We can't be friends-- But I'd like to just pretend. You cling to your papers and pens-- Wait until you like me again. The sense of ambivalence recurs in the strange bridge: Know that you made me-- Don't like how you paint me, yet I'm still here hanging. Not what you made me-- It's almost like a day...

  "Why don't you brand yourself as an ADHD expert?" she says. "There are all kinds of online courses. There is a market for this." I start to whine. "That sounds so boring. I have a graduate degree. I already know what to do." "I'm sure you're clever, dear, but it's possible that the world of education has evolved in the fifteen years since you finished night school. It's possible that people know new things about child development. And maybe there is something you could learn." "I'd rather take a course on Herman Melville. Something purely impractical." The career coach surprises me. "That I understand," she says. "When I was home with my babies, basically contemplating suicide, I chose to study various rabbinical traditions at the local synagogue. And I think it saved me." It's clear to me that this person doesn't care so much *what* I do; it's just crucial *that* I do something....