Skip to main content

A Gay Man's Guide to Taylor Swift

People sometimes think ambivalence is a lack of feeling, but it's actually the opposite. It's too much feeling. It's being pulled in two directions at once.

It's a favorite theme in the work of Sondheim: "Marry me...a little....Love me...just enough..." And: "You're sorry/grateful. Regretful/happy. Why look for answers where none occur?"

What distinguishes Taylor Swift's work is that the writer is consistently injecting ambivalence into pop songs. While Ariana Grande tends to insist on *one* emotion--"I'm so f***ing grateful for my ex"--Tay Tay, by contrast, recognizes that we tend to feel one thing *and its opposite* in the same moment.

We are confused and torn up. We cannot keep track of our warring impulses.

I feel this on an almost constant basis: Right now, for example, I hate the fact that I'm at work, and I'm bored, and I also want to do a good job, and I'm pleased to see some of the people I work with. A stew of feelings!

You see this kind of thinking in Taylor Swift's "Babe." When Swift observes that her ex "broke the sweetest promise that he never should have made," that use of "sweet" is very "studied." If Swift's feelings are dreadful, how can they also be "sweet"? Because she is human.

The same kind of thing happens when Swift says: "I hate that, because of you, I can't love you." She is addressing one lover, but really the lover seems to have two faces: The lecherous face prevents Swift from sticking around for the adorable face.

(And when Swift suggests that "those eyes don't look so innocent now," it seems to me she is inviting us to pair famously puppy-eyed Jake Gyllenhaal with the character she is inventing. Elsewhere, she refers to a Jake-esque character's "sweet disposition.")

Does any of this matter? Perhaps not. But, in trying to account for Swift's success, it seems important to underline ambivalence--and clever depictions of ambivalence--whenever possible. The Divided Self. The story under the story. This is just good storytelling. It makes sense to peer under the hood and see what makes things "purr."

P.S. Where are some other Swiftian references to ambivalence? "You look like bad news. I gotta have you." "I say I hate you, we break up, you call me, I love you." "And I wish I could run to you. And every time I don't? I almost do." Feel free to add your own favorites here!
Labels:

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

How to Host a Baby

-You have assumed responsibility for a mewling, puking ball of life, a yellow-lab pup. He will spit his half-digested kibble all over your shoes, all over your hard-cover edition of Jennifer Haigh's novel  Faith . He will eat your tables, your chairs, your "I {Heart] Montessori" magnet, placed too low on the fridge. When you try to watch Bette Davis in  Hush Hush Sweet Charlotte , on your TV, your dog will bark through the murder-prologue, for no apparent reason. He will whimper through Lena Dunham's  Girls , such that you have to rewind several times to catch every nuance of Andrew Rannells's ad-libbing--and, still, you'll have a nagging suspicion you've missed something. Your dog will poop on the kitchen floor, in the hallway, between the tiny bars of his crate. He'll announce his wakefulness at 5 AM, 2 AM, or while you and another human are mid-coitus. All this, and you get outside, and it's: "Don't let him pee on my tulips!" When...
3 comments
Read more

The Death of Bergoglio

  It's frustrating for me to hear Bergoglio described as "the less awful pope"--because awful is still awful. I think I get fixated on ideas of purity, which can be juvenile, but putting that aside, here are some things that Bergoglio could have done and did not. (I'm quoting from a survivor of sexual abuse at the hands of the Church.) He could levy the harshest penalty, excommunication, against a dozen or more of the most egregious abuse enabling church officials. (He's done this to no enablers, or predators for that matter.) He could insist that every diocese and religious order turn over every record they have about suspected and known abusers to law enforcement. Francis could order every prelate on the planet to post on his diocesan website the names of every proven, admitted and credibly accused child molesting cleric. (Imagine how much safer children would be if police, prosecutors, parents and the public knew the identities of these potentially dangerous me...
1 comment
Read more

Raymond Carver: "What's in Alaska?"

Outside, Mary held Jack's arm and walked with her head down. They moved slowly on the sidewalk. He listened to the scuffing sounds her shoes made. He heard the sharp and separate sound of a dog barking and above that a murmuring of very distant traffic.  She raised her head. "When we get home, Jack, I want to be fucked, talked to, diverted. Divert me, Jack. I need to be diverted tonight." She tightened her hold on his arm. He could feel the dampness in that shoe. He unlocked the door and flipped the light. "Come to bed," she said. "I'm coming," he said. He went to the kitchen and drank two glasses of water. He turned off the living-room light and felt his way along the wall into the bedroom. "Jack!" she yelled. "Jack!" "Jesus Christ, it's me!" he said. "I'm trying to get the light on." He found the lamp, and she sat up in bed. Her eyes were bright. He pulled the stem on the alarm and b...
1 comment
Read more