Memoirs of a Substitute Teacher

*In fourth grade, we like to talk about social justice. Unfairness. Perhaps it's unfair that a woman has never been President of the United States? But one wide-eyed girl has an explanation. "Maybe they aren't President because they don't *want* to be President." Silence floods the room. How can you begin to respond?

*"I'm going to be a novelist *and* a scientist," says one student. She is serenely coloring a Mother's Day card. "I'll also be an inventor!"

*Terry Gross says a great conversation-starter, among strangers, is: "Tell me about yourself." Fair enough, but I don't think this works with kids. A better choice, with kids: "Who is your favorite superhero?" There is inevitably an answer, and it's often Thor or Spider-Man. Then there's some excited murmuring--and you can't understand the murmuring because small children are unintelligible maybe half the the time they speak....but at least some kind of chatter is filling the air.

*A real problem--in first grade--is boys racing girls. There is a gender divide; the terms of battle are the word search. Which team will finish the word search first? Tensions mount. False accusations are hatched: "They're sneaking a peak!" even when "they" are halfway across the room. There is no cure for the growing irritation and anxiety. Reasoning won't work. There's just a sense of aggravation and hostility, and then the day is over.

Happy Weekend!

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