People who act as surrogates are mentally unstable and impoverished; they're all from one race, and it isn't white; they are weak and easily exploited. In addition to being false, this seems deeply condescending toward people who act as surrogates, but it's a position you'll see in reader comments in the NYTimes. There's frequent use of the adjective "poor," which seems like a misnomer and also seems inherently patronizing.
*Adoption is easy, and gay people who don't adopt are unspeakably selfish. I'm stunned by the number of straight people who ask, in the NYT, "Why not just adopt?" How often is this question asked of straight people?
*Gay people feel entitled to have children, absurdly. Nope. No one is "entitled" to have children. But if you can try, and you'd like to try, and you have people who want to help, and can help in a safe and compensated way--then why not try?
*Gay people are crazed hedonists, just looking for the next party. I think this idea arose when gay people were *not* building families, and now that some gay people (still very few gay people) want to have children, the act of having children, if not in the context of adoption, is sometimes viewed as a *new* form of hedonism.
*The egg and the womb belong to the same person, so the moment of separation is emotionally wrenching. Nope. The egg and womb don't belong to the same person.
*Children born through surrogacy are permanently emotionally scarred because they are separated from the person who carried them for nine months. I wish there were hard stats about this, but I do know children of surrogacy who seem quite happy and healthy, and also I know there are adopted children who turn out well. But, again, I wish people could reach for stats here.
*This just isn't a "priority" issue. Who decides that? Good grief. Enough. Gay people take a backseat too often; it's almost like a reflex. There is internalized homophobia and self-loathing. There's an unwillingness to state any want--growing out of a sense of being a second-tier citizen. It's like an instinct. Enough. It's tiresome.
That's what I think about surrogacy.
*Adoption is easy, and gay people who don't adopt are unspeakably selfish. I'm stunned by the number of straight people who ask, in the NYT, "Why not just adopt?" How often is this question asked of straight people?
*Gay people feel entitled to have children, absurdly. Nope. No one is "entitled" to have children. But if you can try, and you'd like to try, and you have people who want to help, and can help in a safe and compensated way--then why not try?
*Gay people are crazed hedonists, just looking for the next party. I think this idea arose when gay people were *not* building families, and now that some gay people (still very few gay people) want to have children, the act of having children, if not in the context of adoption, is sometimes viewed as a *new* form of hedonism.
*The egg and the womb belong to the same person, so the moment of separation is emotionally wrenching. Nope. The egg and womb don't belong to the same person.
*Children born through surrogacy are permanently emotionally scarred because they are separated from the person who carried them for nine months. I wish there were hard stats about this, but I do know children of surrogacy who seem quite happy and healthy, and also I know there are adopted children who turn out well. But, again, I wish people could reach for stats here.
*This just isn't a "priority" issue. Who decides that? Good grief. Enough. Gay people take a backseat too often; it's almost like a reflex. There is internalized homophobia and self-loathing. There's an unwillingness to state any want--growing out of a sense of being a second-tier citizen. It's like an instinct. Enough. It's tiresome.
That's what I think about surrogacy.
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