Skip to main content

Making a Baby V

*If you're working with tomato paste, there's an easy way to get it out of the can. I didn't invent this. You remove *both* the top *and* the bottom of the can, then you use the detached top as a kind of broom: The top sweeps the paste out of the cylinder, directly into your Crock Pot! This is among the greatest things I've ever learned.

*There's nothing more therapeutic than a crime-story podcast and a bit of food prep. Something about the sinister-music and spice-measuring combo is deeply satisfying.

*An entire world exists in which people write short essays about "kooky memories with broccoli," and then at the end of the essay, there's a recipe. I'm not sure everyone should be doing this. Not everyone writes like Ruth Reichl. But you can almost always skip the essay; there's generally a "jump to recipe" button.

*People also go online to publish their guilty thoughts about paternity leave/maternity leave. Many people write, "I can't check my work email for the next two months...It's actually against the law!" When I feel I'm not paying adequate attention to my job (a job I don’t always love ), I just remind myself that detaching my gaze from my baby, right now, would be against the law.

 *If you walk outside with a baby in a stroller or Bjorn, few people will notice. You will be almost invisible. But if you hold the baby in your arms, then you create a religious experience for your entire community. People become poetic. "That baby's so small, he looks like he was born just now on that park bench!" Clouds disperse. Radiant beams descend.

Life is strange and quiet--for now.
Labels:

Comments

  1. Unkie JSeptember 5, 2019 at 10:48 AM

    All true and wonderful. But, remember, you can buy tomato paste in a tube so you can squeeze out just what you need while the remainder stays fresh and air-free in the tube in the fridge. Enjoy Josh...and the contents of your crock pot!

    ReplyDelete
  2. ReaderSeptember 5, 2019 at 11:04 AM

    Aha- I had not known. Thank you! We had crockpot chix-and-broccoli last night.

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

How to Host a Baby

-You have assumed responsibility for a mewling, puking ball of life, a yellow-lab pup. He will spit his half-digested kibble all over your shoes, all over your hard-cover edition of Jennifer Haigh's novel  Faith . He will eat your tables, your chairs, your "I {Heart] Montessori" magnet, placed too low on the fridge. When you try to watch Bette Davis in  Hush Hush Sweet Charlotte , on your TV, your dog will bark through the murder-prologue, for no apparent reason. He will whimper through Lena Dunham's  Girls , such that you have to rewind several times to catch every nuance of Andrew Rannells's ad-libbing--and, still, you'll have a nagging suspicion you've missed something. Your dog will poop on the kitchen floor, in the hallway, between the tiny bars of his crate. He'll announce his wakefulness at 5 AM, 2 AM, or while you and another human are mid-coitus. All this, and you get outside, and it's: "Don't let him pee on my tulips!" When...
3 comments
Read more

Joshie

  When I was growing up, a class birthday involved Hostess cupcakes. Often, the cupcakes would come in a shoebox, so you could taste a leathery residue (during the party). Times change. You can't bring a treat into a public school, in 2024, because heaven knows what kind of allergies might lurk, in unseen corners, in the classroom. But Joshua's teacher will allow: a dance party, a pajama day, or a guest reader. I chose to bring a story for Joshua's birthday (observed), but I didn't think through the role that anxiety might play in this interaction. We talk, in this house, quite a bit about anxiety; one game-changer, for J, has been a daily list of activities, so that he knows exactly what to expect. He gets a look of profound satisfaction when he sees the agenda; it doesn't really matter what the specific events happen to be. It's just about knowing, "I can anticipate X, Y, and Z." Joshua struggled with his celebration. He wore his nervousness on his f...
2 comments
Read more

Josh at Five

 Joshie's project is "flexibility"; the goal is to see that a plan is just an idea, not a gospel, not a guarantee. This is difficult. Yesterday, we went to a restaurant--billed as "open," with unlocked doors--and the owner informed us of an "error in advertising." But Joshie couldn't accept the word "closed." He threw himself on the floor, then climbed on the furniture. I felt for the owner, until he nervously made a reference to "the glass windows." He imagined that my child might toss himself through a sealed window, like Mary Katherine Gallagher, or like Bruce Willis, in "Die Hard." Then--thank the Lord!--I was able to laugh. The thing that really has therapeutic value for Joshie is: a firetruck. If we are out in public, and he spots a parked truck, he wants to climb on each surface. He breathlessly alludes to the wheels, the door, the windows. If an actual fire station ("fire ocean," in Joshie's parla...
Post a Comment
Read more