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Bills vs. Chiefs

 It's tricky to be married to a football spouse. 


I feel deep indifference to the sport--except that I wish that various players would stop assaulting their wives and girlfriends, and I wish that competitors weren't at risk of suffering permanent brain damage (and I wonder if Will Smith's crusading work, in "Concussion," has moved any needles, anywhere).


It's also tricky to feel ambivalent toward my hometown--because, if the Buffalo Bills do well, people come to me and say, "How challenging to be a Bills fan married to a Chiefs fan!" I've never been a Bills fan. To me, the best of Buffalo is Joyce Carol Oates. And Christine Baranski. I'd welcome this kind of text: "Go Buffalo! That's a seventh-decade veteran, Baranski, scoring yet another Golden Globe nomination!"

To his credit, my husband really limited the crazy-talk this season. He became upset when Buffalo grocers stopped selling KC barbeque sauce--and this was presented to me perhaps a bit too frequently, as if I could speak for the grocers. I feel nothing for the grocers. I don't know them. Also, wild-eyed, Marc showed me Susie's "lucky Chiefs sock": The sock had to remain on Susie's foot for a certain number of hours so that the Bills would go down in defeat.

When the Chiefs did lose, I experienced an internal challenge. I feel so cut off from professional sports, the events of a late-season show-down are, to me, like the minutes from a school-board meeting in Dayton, Ohio. Except this: These events had an impact on the man I live with. So I did a thought experiment. I recalled when the new revival of "Company" was panned in the NYTimes. And I remembered when Kristin Chenoweth lost a Tony Award--to Kelli O'Hara.

Those events were difficult for me; I couldn't control the outcomes, and I mourned the outcomes. I understood: This is what my husband is feeling right now. His Kristin Chenoweth has just lost a Tony. And, with that insight, I was able to say, with sincerity: "I'm sorry."

So I suppose football has "brought growth" to me. Strange new world....
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