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Stuff I'm Reading

 Here are three things I absorbed, or tried to absorb, about parenting this year:


(1) Perspective-taking. If your child suddenly decides he dislikes mac and cheese, it's maybe not great to say NO! You LOVE mac and cheese! Surely you've had a mood so black that even a previously delightful thing--like a Barbara Pym novel--becomes, suddenly, odious?

One thing to consider saying is: Ah, you dislike mac and cheese? That's interesting. Tell me more about that....

(2) A tantrum is like a fire, but a big response can be like more gasoline. You think your response is water to extinguish the fire, but really you're just adding to the fuel.

(3) Probably the best voice to use with a kid is a whisper. I personally like when another human uses a soft voice. Imagine being tiny: Many, many adults must sound like braying Donald Trumps! This has been eye-opening for me.

I borrowed these ideas from "Raising Raffi," by Keith Gessen, a book I loved.
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