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My Mommy Group

 There are two people in my mommy group: my friend Vanya and, also, yours truly.


We have some favorite topics:

(1) Disliking other mommies. Vanya reports that her mother-in-law sits on a gilded chaise longue and allows the little one to throw expensive objects against the wall. It's only when the little one is frothing at the mouth, dancing satanic dances, that the MIL erupts in a terrifying rage. This happens again and again. If Vanya tries to establish boundaries, the MIL says: "You're really being oppressive...."

(2) Making fun of Maplewood. Vanya knows someone who wanted to stage important scenes from the Old Testament -- as a kind of educational opportunity. She wanted to have a Moses doll swimming in a swimming pool (i.e., baby Moses floating down the river). She had to run out the door, so she asked her husband to do the finishing touches. But her husband grabbed the wrong inflatable pool; he grabbed the one designed to resemble a watermelon. So, finally, he posted Facebook photos of a little Black doll sailing along on a large watermelon. And you think Constance Wu knows a few things about public shaming?

(3) Crapping on our public school system. Here, if your child has an obvious case of ADHD, the school authorities may say NOPE. So you then basically have to enlist help for a second (expensive) opinion, sue the school authorities, and endure an additional round of testing. In the additional round, your SOMA adjudicator may lose the test, ask for a ninety-minute break, then shrug if you request toilet access for your antsy child. 

These hours are deeply therapeutic for me.
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