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My Daughter Susie

 I know that teachers are saints, but I truly dislike my child's music teacher. Can I say that here? This person gives her life away for the education of small kids, and I'd rather get a root canal than sit with her.


So much of my job is pretending that crazy utterances aren't crazy. The music teacher begins one class by saying, "Hello, we are here to work! Parents, I'm not just entertaining your children; I need you to be an active part of the mission to enrich their lives!"

I'd very much like to say, "I put socks on my feet this morning, and you are getting nothing more from me. Just play Ricky Martin tunes for an hour, and we'll write you a check."

My daughter doesn't understand boundaries, so she just throws herself at the teacher. And the teacher has turned this tic into a beautiful story about Covid: "Now that the pandemic has changed shape, the little ones are learning they may embrace me once more." I bite my tongue; I don't observe that my daughter will hug anyone, anywhere; you could have the bubonic plague, and Susie would want to enlist you in several rounds of Twister. The music teacher--stunned by the world's beauty--wipes a small tear from her eye.

Sometimes, the teacher reminds us that she has four hundred students per week. "So, if I forget a name, just remember that I'm working with four hundred students--in rotation!" She doesn't actually forget any names, but the big number seems important to her. "If you notice wetness on the tambourines," she adds, nervously, "it's because I bathe them in sanitizing alcohol after any and all learning sessions."

My daughter loves every minute; she leaves the room singing. And me? I know I'm headed straight for hell.
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Comments

  1. Unkie JNovember 7, 2022 at 8:45 AM

    Hell hath myriad locations. At least you can escape this one with a singing, smiling Susie.

    ReplyDelete
  2. ReaderNovember 7, 2022 at 10:15 AM

    Agreed! Susie is great company. And she has a really nice voice. :-)

    ReplyDelete

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