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Dad Diary

 When babies are very tiny, a fair portion of the day is just napping/cuddling. But if your charges are two and four, things become sort of acrobatic.


A big influence for me is Roz Chast, who has written extensively about her experience as a parent. She says that her own mother would often report, "I'm not your friend." And this drove her batty, such that she took on a different motto with her own kids: "I'm both your parent and your friend." It's a tricky sentence. You have to commit to one role over the other--at times. It's so wearying to say, "We don't eat a cupcake at 2:30 PM," just knowing your sentence is going to land on deaf ears, and that there will be tears, tears, and more tears.

Another source of help for me is the Roz Chast set of "Bad Mom Trading Cards." She has taken her worst parenting moments and turned them into "collectibles." One example: "The day you run out of orange juice, so you offer orange soda as the substitute...." I haven't done that, but I do cringe, internally, whenever I make the lazy choice to kill a daylight hour with reruns of "Blippi TV."

Over the weekend, my husband and I watched "Winter's Bone," and I really like this movie, and I think Jennifer Lawrence is amazing. But I get irritated whenever I see Lawrence with her little siblings; everyone is so beatific, and the kids hang on each and every word from J-Law's mouth. In a movie that is ostensibly committed to gritty realism--a movie where someone saws two hands off a water-logged corpse--the depictions of first-grader life just reek--reek!--of bullshit. Is Debra Granik a mom?

Onward and upward.
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Comments

  1. Unkie JOctober 16, 2023 at 6:29 AM

    Love Roz' pov...in all their forms.

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    Replies
    1. ReaderOctober 16, 2023 at 8:19 AM

      I find her honesty oddly reassuring -- also so moved by her bravery and intelligence.

      Delete
  2. KathyOctober 16, 2023 at 9:00 AM

    I've gotten a great deal from her writings about her aging parents (mine is now 91) - laughing through the tears - hang in there... you have your hands full, I know!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. AnonymousOctober 16, 2023 at 4:55 PM

      The memoir about her parents is so wonderful. I think she describes universal feelings -- but they're things most people look away from. She is so even-handed in talking about her parents, who are fantastic characters (especially the mom). Also, she writes with humor and without self-pity. It's just a perfect book.

      Delete

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