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White Women LOL

 Curtis Sittenfeld's new collection of stories is uneven. "White Women LOL" tries to be a riff on the Central Park Birder incident, but the piece has very little to say. Also, a "sequel" to "Prep" just meanders and sputters without a payoff.


But--elsewhere--certain characters pop off the page. I keep thinking about a woman who has memories of her adolescence. In college, she studied the viola. She was self-conscious about her coed bathroom, so she trained herself to poop before anyone else was awake. But a particularly cruel male neighbor discovered her secret--and made inferences about her self-loathing--and began stalking her during bathroom trips. This is such a strange situation. Everyone poops; the poop itself should not be a source of shame. But the bully has extraordinary power over the violist. I couldn't anticipate where all of this was headed.

I also felt caught up in the world of a liberal film producer who has a strange assignment. A conservative man has recently published a book called "The Marriage Clock." The idea comes from a doomsday clock. The man claims that he "surrendered" his first marriage after a thousand tiny failures: masturbating too much, leaving poop detritus in the toilet, peeing in front of his spouse, leaving his iPhone out on the dinner table, gaining more than ten pounds. The main idea is this: "Marriage is hard work! Be prepared." (An article like this really did cause a stir a few years ago.) The liberal filmmaker wants to adapt the book as a fictional narrative, but one of the featured couples will be gay, and the conservative writer can't tolerate the thought of a gay couple. This is the reason for the meeting. Can a truce or compromise occur?

The ensuing discussions are antagonistic and flirtatious; both characters are rounded and real. Stakes get higher. You think you know what the sparring might lead to--and you are wrong.

A third standout story--"The Hug"--is a kind of retelling of Raymond Carver's "Cathedral." In the especially terrible COVID days, a woman tells her spouse that an ex will be visiting. Though everyone is social-distancing, the woman wants to offer a hug to her ex, because he has been fully isolated for months, and his mental health is endangered. The husband can't tolerate this plan. A second fight emerges: Regardless of the reasons for the husband's proposed veto, who says he even has a "veto" option in the first place? This story also has a metaphor I enjoyed. ("It's like I was a large garbage bin, a dumpster, and he just unloaded verbal garbage for three hours. Bag after bag. And I was mute...I couldn't say anything....")

Curtis Sittenfeld is a born writer. She sees the profound weirdness in everyday affairs, and she remembers what she sees. Also, she is prolific; unlike Maile Meloy, she has not abandoned prose fiction in favor of TV contracts. Long may she reign.
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