My Career Coach

 My career coach says that the worst phenomenon is a client who doesn't take the work seriously; she charges a substantial fee in part to discourage this kind of client from signing up.

I do try to take the work seriously. I've dragged myself out of the house to resume tutoring. The challenge of relating to teenagers has been stimulating; thank God for Hollywood. I can score points by agreeing with one student that the new Captain America is "actually not that bad." A favorite student made my day by congratulating me after the Oscars: "Anora did so good!!!!" (Never mind that this student was hoping to learn basic grammar rules from me. We can discuss that some other time.)

Mainly, though, I find myself wandering through art museums, then feeling guilty about my choice. 

"Why go all the way to the Met? Why not be practical, and check out the Morristown Museum?" This is dispiriting to me. It's like saying, "Why travel an extra hour to hear the world's greatest singer--when you have a semi-talented Berklee undergrad in your backyard?"

My career coach sighs. "Listen," she says. "Make yourself a Venn diagram. Consider your wishes. One half of the diagram is to be titled Ease. The other half is to be titled Importance. And these wish sectors should overlap. Let's see what happens in the middle sector."

I agree--in part because I want to change the subject. In my head, I have a disturbing image of Betty Draper, who is passive, in an irritating way, until it's too late. At the very end of "Mad Men," she decides to pull herself together and study psychology. She is going to make something with her brain. But it's hopeless. Shortly after she hatches her plan, she is diagnosed with terminal cancer; she has just a few months to live.

The hour ends; a Venn diagram fails to materialize. Instead of working, I eat a cookie--and I feel bad about my weight.