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My Favorite TV Script

 My favorite TV script is for "Bart Gets an F," an early episode of "The Simpsons."


This is a beautiful portrait of Bart--in the days before Homer became the series protagonist. It's also a meditation on the word "underachiever." Bart has been labeled a failure by various school authorities. But he shrugs. Many brilliant minds have struggled with conventional schooling: Edward St. Aubyn, Chris Rock, Jay-Z, and so on. (A Bart Simpson tee shirt popped up all over America. "Underachiever," and Proud of It! ....Some felt that Matt Groening should not glorify the idea of failure. Groening pointed out that "underachiever" was in quotation marks--because the people assigning the label to Bart were obviously wrong. But this reasoning was a bit too elaborate for certain American politicians--like Bush, Sr.--who tried to attack "The Simpsons.")

Bart's F results from a book report. We open with Martin giving a stirring talk about "The Old Man and the Sea." Martin has dressed as Hemingway, and he speaks movingly about the joys of life: "To spear a marlin.....to sample the meat of the coconut....to make love to a woman..." Poor Bart has to follow this, and it's immediately clear that he has not read "Treasure Island." He says, "This fine novel is short in length, rectangular in shape....It takes place on an island. There is treasure--priceless, priceless treasure...."

(My husband recalls having failed to read "The Diary of Anne Frank." During his book report--a dramatic recreation of several pivotal scenes--he played the role of Anne. He had a tantrum and tried to escape from the annex; he threw his full body against the classroom door. "I want out! I want OUT!!!!" ....He did not receive favorable feedback for this assignment.)

Bart tries to redeem himself with a makeup quiz, but he just can't force himself to take an interest in the American Revolution. The writer makes a scathing observation about American schooling: When Edna hands back the disastrous graded test, she is surprised by Bart's genuine pain. Instead of empathizing, she chuckles. "I thought you would have been *immune* to academic embarrassment by now!" It's not Edna we side with in this scene. It's Bart.

There is a twist--a smart, plausible detail that demonstrates that Bart is, in fact, an original thinker. This final moment is surprising and inevitable. (Deep down, we're all aware that Bart has talent.)

I'm just very fond of the heart behind this script--as well as the use of detail. So many "prestige" dramas have nothing like the discipline that "The Simpsons" regularly displayed in its early years, when it was firing on all cylinders.
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