Liars and Saints

 If you're a gay semi-employed dad during COVID, then you make friends with the (rare) visitors. They are: (1) The handyman. He often seems to be high on pot, and he may or may not arrive for a given appointment. He studies you in a hazy way, and he says, "You know, we have a gay couple at my church.... " And you consider offering your congratulations. Or you could say: "More of ME??? I'll be there on Sunday!" But, instead, a complex silence follows. (2) The plumber. This man meets your husband, then finds you. "I met your friend!" he says. And how can you reply? "My friend, yes. The one with the wedding ring. We live here in chaste bliss, sharing a brew, raising a child together." Give this man his check. Do not call him again. (3) The barber. She is your favorite. She came from Eastern Europe, and she has seen things. If you consider complaining about your privileged life--your occasional boredom, a sense of narrow horizons--then your b...

 Sylvia Plath would have celebrated a birthday this week. She is the subject of a buzzy new biography, "Red Comet." The artist Summer Pierre, whose work is included here, took an interest in Plath a few years ago. She read Plath's letters and published a review in the "New Yorker": Pierre made the point that, although Plath is now known (partly) for the grim final weeks of her life, Plath was (also) a genius and highly effective.  It's tough to become a world-renowned poet if you're a slouch. Plath was publishing in national magazines when she was a teenager; she encouraged her husband, who had far less professional knowledge; she wrote "The Bell Jar" in six weeks, while also raising her daughter. (People don't point out when a male writer is "also a dad!" ....Fair enough, but something tells me the bulk of the child-rearing work in the Plath/Hughes household was *not* going to Ted Hughes.) Summer Pierre uses wonderful details in ...

 "Borat 2: Subsequent Moviefilm" (I imagine I'm getting the title wrong) concerns a monkey.  The people of Kazakhstan have appointed a monkey to a high-ranking government post--and now, in a bid to earn Trump's attention, Borat must try to present the monkey (a gift) to Mike Pence. However, Borat's fifteen-year-old daughter has ambitions; she wants to see America. (Borat seems surprised to discover that his daughter exists. And, at fifteen, she is "NOT MARRIED YET?" Borat faints.) B's daughter smuggles herself in a crate with the aforementioned monkey, but, in transit, she gets hungry, and she eats the monkey. So Borat decides he will actually present his *daughter* to Pence, as a gift. The daughter has a makeover ("I feel like Melania!"), and further hijinks ensue. Everything builds to the Giuliani scene, which is uncomfortable and a bit mean, and also not the funniest part of the movie. (For me, the really memorable part involves Borat si...

 Recently, I coached a student through a college-application process. It occurred to me that many readers will need to do this at one time or another (as parents, or aunts, or uncles), so I'm collecting a few thoughts here: (1) Don't talk down. Treat the kid as an adult. If he voices frustration, that's a good thing. (If there isn't a struggle, there isn't any learning.) If all the material doesn't sink in now, it may nonetheless sink in two years from now. (2) Walk the walk. I think, if you're helping a kid with a college essay, it's only fair that you yourself draft a "college essay." Let the kid see your multiple failures and your rare epiphanies. ("Rare" if you are *yours truly* .....) Do you know how easy it is to wag a finger and say, I told you to write FIVE rough drafts ? Do you know how much harder it is to go ahead and write five rough drafts? Do the drafts from your own point of view--and your finger-wagging will take on ne...

 The writer Curtis Sittenfeld loves Toad because "he is the author of his own problems." Toad could have an easy life, but he seems wedded to self-sabotage. Take the story about the swimsuit. Toad could avoid public humiliation, but he makes his vulnerability so obvious, it's as if he *commands* the village to laugh at him. Take the story "Alone." Toad could accept Frog's note at face value. But Toad's neurosis leads to a dark night of the soul; Toad tortures himself. In "Ice Cream," Toad runs off to get a treat. But he doesn't consider the distance of the journey, and he spills melting cream all over his face. The sugary mess attracts sticks, mud clumps, leaves. Witnesses--squirrels, chipmunks--conclude that a monster is on the loose. The story ends with a blind, "horned" Toad falling into a lake. We all admire Lobel for his plotting. But let's take a moment to appreciate the drawings, as well. The cones like spikes sticking ...

 The movie "Spotlight" turns five years old this season. It's a stranger-comes-to-town narrative. Marty Baron arrives at the "Boston Globe," and he encourages his team to look at that all-powerful institution, the Catholic Church. What follows is horror story after horror story. The reporters first think they're inspecting a small handful of "bad priests," but soon learn it's likely they're inspecting ninety Boston molesters, or more. A survivor explains that, after you've been assaulted by a priest, you "turn to drugs or drinking, or you jump off a bridge." Another survivor spills coffee on himself, because he's so nervous to speak up; his struggle with priests, along with his knowledge of his homosexuality, has been a mighty cross to carry. (This is an indelible two-scene role.) Unforgettably, the venal ring-leader Cardinal Law hands Marty Baron a Bible, as a gift; "I feel the city works best when its major institut...

We've made progress. We now have a blow-up ghost in a cat-themed winter hat; the hat is for comfy trick-or-treating. We have a TRICKS/TREATS neon "bar" sign and a terrifying array of paper tombstones. And I've done a fair amount of online reading about pumpkin design.  One suggestion is: Keep it simple. If you want to add a burst of feeling, sketch in two angry eyebrows. My issue is that the actual slicing stage makes me impatient, and I end up cutting off a tooth or a portion of the facial "skin." But knowing the nature of the problem.....is half the battle. Our "spooky viewing" series has grown and changed, and recently we've added: *"Seven." (Not great, but at least David Fincher, in his twenties, had a sense of visual zest. And certainly the *structure* of the script is surprising.) *The rebooted "Unsolved Mysteries," on Netflix. I just can't rate this show highly enough. The music, the ominous re-stagings, the final...