Liars and Saints

  My son is at an age when transitions are especially fraught; if I try to leave the house for a few minutes, it's like a Verdi opera here. Garments are shredded; apples are thrown to the floor. I think Josh would be clingy in the best of circumstances, but because he has a speech delay, his tantrums have a special force. There are two layers: (1)  I don't want you to go  and (2)  I'm furious because I can't explicitly tell you I don't want you to go. I get this. I, too, hate transitions. I've eaten Life-with-berries every morning, almost without exception, every week, every month, every year, since my twenties. For a long while, I visited an Italian restaurant every Monday, and the waiters became so irked by my rigid ordering style, they once surrounded my table and literally demanded that I choose something new. I resisted. A ritual is so much more soothing than a transition. For Josh, there's one thing I've learned to say: "I'm leaving to do ...

 This is (qualified) enthusiasm for Frank Bruni's memoir, "The Beauty of Dusk." Bruni had a reasonably happy ten-year quasi-marriage and a thriving career when he discovered, one morning, that his vision was newly impaired. Everything seemed "smeary." It emerged that Bruni had a rare condition, involving thin blood vessels--and "smeariness" would now be a constant. Worse still: The *other* eye could give out at any moment. So Bruni was told to avoid flying, if possible, to drink great quantities of water, to cut back on alcohol. And, in a final twist, Bruni's partner disclosed a long-term affair: Bruni found himself single. (I especially liked the bits about the partner. Bruni can be frustratingly "sunny," so when he becomes enjoyably "cold," in the romance sections, you take note.) After Bruni's humbling, Bruni became a kind of cheerleader for the aging and/or impaired. There are gifts that come with being partly blind! You...

  I often think about neighbors, now that I live in the burbs.  Neighboring is a tricky thing. You have to be kind to the person next-door, because you may see that person daily for thirty or forty years. At the same time, you don't have family ties, family resemblance, to help paper over any tension. The person next-door is neither someone you chose nor someone you shared your childhood with. Recently, my new neighbors began a regular routine of blocking my access to my garage. This is a problem because I need to drive my son to and from various appointments. But it's not catastrophic; it's not difficult to put on a friendly face and ask for the truck to move. At the same time, a part of me seems weirdly gratified by the drama; I feel excited when I discover a new irritant outside. (Maybe this means my life right now is quieter than it should be.) I think of this in relation to a movie I very much like, which is "Neighbors," starring Rose Byrne. The idea is that ...

 I felt ambivalent, at best, about most of the Academy's choices this year, but I'm happy that Ariana DeBose won an Oscar.  The win made me think of the grand tradition of the supporting actress in musical films: winner Jennifer Hudson ("Dreamgirls"), winner Catherine Zeta-Jones ("Chicago"), winner Rita Moreno, winner Anne Hathaway, nominee Meryl Streep ("Into the Woods"), nominee Penelope Cruz ("Nine"), nominee Queen Latifah, nominee Peggy Wood ("The Sound of Music"). As a hat-tip to the Oscars, Marc and I watched "Dreamgirls" Saturday. What a treat to see Hudson and nominee Eddie Murphy. I also enjoy Anika Noni Rose and Jamie Foxx, at least in Act One; the story runs out of gas after Effie White's meltdown, and this means you have a full hour to sit through after "the peak." I'd very much like to see more movie-musicals in the next few years; specifically, I'd nominate "Kiss of the Spider-W...

  David Sipress says that a cartoon should make explicit the thing that is implicit in our heads -- the thing we all think, the thing we can't articulate. Here is one example. A woman turns to her spouse. She says: "Where do you want to worry that we're spending too much money this summer?" Not a word wasted, and we know exactly what this person is alluding to. I'm in awe. Sipress has a new memoir--"What's So Funny?"--  and I loved it from start to finish. I'll be thinking about Sipress and his work for a long while.

 Soon, a new first in Oscar history will arrive: Two women will have won Oscars for playing one character. The character is Anita; the women are Rita Moreno and Ariana DeBose.  (Men have already arrived in this strange place. De Niro and Brando both have Oscars for playing The Godfather. Phoenix and Ledger both have Oscars for clowning around in Joker attire.) Stephen Sondheim thought that form should match content--and so he doesn't *tell* us that Anita is bright. He *shows* us -- through jokes. When a friend becomes dreamy about "the city of San Juan," Anita rolls her eyes and says, "I know a boat you can get on...." When the friend praises San Juan's "hundreds of flowers in full bloom," Anita recalls San Juan's "hundreds of people in each room." I think Sondheim liked Anita best; he liked his version of the Nurse, from "Romeo and Juliet." I think Sondheim grew exasperated when pondering Tony and Maria -- and I think he pe...

 I share Dolly Parton's puzzled response to the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame -- because Dolly Parton doesn't write rock and roll. But anything that highlights Parton's genius is also not so bad. A favorite Dolly moment of mine is "Travelin' Thru," which nearly won the Oscar. Dolly was writing for a transgender character; DP took the idea of a "journey," inner and outer, and began thinking about Joseph on Christmas Eve: Like the poor wayfaring stranger that they speak about in song, I'm just a weary pilgrim trying to find my own way home.  Oh sweet Jesus, if you're out there, keep me ever close to you -- As I'm travelin'....travelin'......travelin'.....as I'm travelin' thru. Parton's thoughts on emotional pain and oppression take the form of a homily: Questions I have many, answers but a few. But we're here to learn -- the spirit burns -- to know the greater truth. We've all been crucified, and they nailed Jes...