Sondheim: "Trumpets"

Those smug little men with their smug little schemes

They forgot one thing:

The play isn't over by a long shot yet!

There are heroes in the world,

Princes and heroes in the world,

And one of them will save us.

Wait and see!

There won't be trumpets or bolts of fire

To say he's coming.

No Roman candles, no angels' choir,

No sound of distant drumming.

He may not be the cavalier,

Tall and graceful, fair and strong.

Doesn't matter, just as long as he comes along!

But not with trumpets or lightning flashing

Or shining armor.

He may be daring, he may be dashing,

Or maybe he's a farmer.

We can wait, what's another day?

He has lots of hills to climb.

And a hero

Doesn't come till the nick of time!

Don't look for trumpets or whistles tooting

To guarantee him!

There won't be trumpets, but sure as shooting

You'll know him when you see him!

Don't know when, don't know where,

And I can't even say that I care!

All I know is, the minute you turn

And he's suddenly there,

There won't be trumpets!

There are no trumpets!

Who needs trumpets?

This song is from "Anyone Can Whistle," and it's about Fay struggling with her enemies. "Those smug little men with their smug little schemes" appear to be winning. But Fay has an insight: "The play isn't over by a long shot yet." She expects a hero will appear.

The chorus of the song imagines a stereotypical "hero's arrival." It repudiates that stereotype. "There won't be trumpets." Also: no bolts of fire, no Roman candles, no angels' choir, no sound of distant drumming. Sight and sound are the cliched tools we tend to use to identify a hero: fire and rumblings. The song's great twist is that it rejects these stereotypes--unlike, say, a number from "Wicked," where you might get the bolts of fire AND the candles AND the distant drumming all within a span of a few seconds. While sneering at the conventions of a hero's arrival, Sondheim does a better job of articulating those same conventions than just about anyone else at work with a pen. (Maybe he felt inspired by "C'est Moi," from "Camelot.")

Height? Grace? Physical strength? They don't matter: Just as long as the hero "comes along."

Each time the refrain starts, we get a spin on the word "trumpets." "There won't be trumpets," "But not with trumpets," "Don't look for trumpets." As Fay schemes for more time, grasping at inspiration, she spins out an ever more elaborate fairy tale. NO whistles tooting. NO lightning flashing, or shining armor, or dashing wardrobe. 

As in any strong Sondheim number, the end provides a twist. All along, we have been awaiting the hero; he has been "climbing hills," pursuing his farming, "because a hero doesn't come until the nick of time." In the final lines, Fay imagines the hero's actual arrival. "The minute you turn and he's suddenly there: There won't be trumpets. Who needs trumpets?" There's a suggestion that you don't even need a "visiting hero." The hero may be Fay herself, or one of the people she's addressing. "You'll know him when you see him." (The final line is only the second question in the entirety of the song, and it voices something implied in all of the lines that go before it. The implicit made explicit--a satisfying end.)

This isn't "Send in the Clowns," I guess, but it's still someone using plain, spare language in graceful and surprising ways. It looks so easy. Thank God for nice, little things!

https://www.google.com/search?q=bernadette+there+won%27t+be&oq=bernadette+there+won%27t+be+&aqs=chrome..69i57.3306j0j9&sourceid=chrome&ie=UTF-8

P.S. Sondheim originally wrote a song, here, with "hero" in the title. But he says "hero" is not a word that sounds like what it means; the "h" sound  and the "r" sound are not strong. They do not stir the blood. "Trumpet" is a forceful word; with its assertiveness, it almost has an onomatopoeic quality. And so a song about trumpets won out. This is what I love about Sondheim.

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