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Mariah Carey's Crazy Memoir

 Mariah Carey moved to New York City in her mid-teens; she had a job at Sports on Broadway, on the Upper West Side.

For a while, Mariah tended bar, then someone discovered she actually wasn't of age. She became a coat-check staffer. At a party, Tommy Mottola "pierced" Mariah "with his gaze"; Mottola later heard Mariah's demo. TM to MC: "You are the most talented person I've ever met. You could be as big as Michael Jackson."

The hits, the hits! "Vision of Love," "Someday," "Emotions," "I'll Be There," "Make It Happen." Mariah wrote "Hero" for Gloria Estefan, who was meant to contribute the song for a Geena Davis movie. But Tommy had a second thought. Hence: Mariah's "Hero."

Mariah had a fondness for R&B -- particularly certain works that she calls "grimy" -- and Tommy couldn't understand. Ol' Dirty Bastard added some sections to the "Fantasy" remix, and this was perhaps the beginning of the end of the Tommy/Mariah marriage. (Things had never been peachy.)

"Glitter" followed. A disaster, a breakdown ..... but, subsequently, "We Belong Together" --! And "Precious," which involved Mariah taking over a role originally meant for Helen Mirren! Mariah is more and more celebrated as a writer and artist as she makes her way through middle age. She was recently inducted into the Songwriters Hall of Fame. (MC recalls a moment when record execs accosted Prince: "Why do you think Mariah wants to do that R&B stuff? What is with that?" And Prince calmly said, "She just loves that music. That's her shit." MC was deeply moved.)

It's not really up for debate, the fact of MC's brilliance. You see it in her analysis of other artists. MC adores Stevie Wonder, and she guesses that his strong writing comes, in part, from his blindness. "He is seeing with his soul." MC is understandably reverent when considering Carole King and "You Make Me Feel Like a Natural Woman." And you can feel MC's exuberance as she recalls her early encounters with ODB's work:

Me and Mariah
Go back like babies with pacifiers
Ol' Dirty Dog's no liar
Keep your fantasy hot like fire....
Jump, jump, let me see you do the stump....

ODB goes on to quote Donny Osmond--Donny Osmond!--and you can bet that this move makes an impression on Mariah.

I waited a few weeks to borrow the new MC memoir. What was I thinking? Can you tell how I feel about it? It really deserves all of its hype.

P.S. Mariah also tips a hat, appropriately, to Bock and Harnick. Bock and Harnick! "How can I hope to make you understand....why I do what I do....? Why I must travel to a distant land....far from the home I love....."
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