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Moving Up Day

 People should never complain about choices they themselves have made--conscious choices, when no one had a gun to anyone's forehead--but I'll go ahead and complain about "Moving Up Day."


My child is in fact not moving up; his classroom next year will still be a preschool classroom. But there was a twenty-minute party. Music played; no one sang along; there was shouting and, occasionally, I saw fisticuffs. At one point, I tried to move to clear space for the woman behind me, but she said, "Stay where you are. You're blocking me from my kid, and this makes him less anxious!"

At the end, there were donuts, which I rejected, because everyone in my house had been puking for a couple of days. I ran off in my car, but then the teacher called, and said that my child was having a "literal" panic attack. "I'm worried he will hyperventilate."

This of course proved to be overdramatic--but my family "rescued" Josh, who calmly spent the rest of the school day in his living room, watching TV.

I think I've learned to skip Moving Up Day? O my God...I am heartily sorry for having offended thee...and for these, my sins....
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