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Under the Sea

 There is more to say about the insanity of baby birthdays; we took our kids to a mermaid-themed event, and my heart cried: HELP. ME.


The children were given small "paint wands" so they could run through the house, permanently wrecking the host's varied sofas and hassocks.

An "Ariel" from Staten Island performed the alphabet song in a husky smoker's voice; her red wig seemed "unloved." 

Toddlers gathered around a small koi pond just large enough to be a possible source of drowning deaths. Some tried to climb on the loose rocks; legs dangled over the water, and chubby arms flailed. This happened again and again.

"Is your daughter allergic to cheese puffs?" asked one stranger. "I inquire just because she has been stealing puffs from my own child's plate, and I wouldn't want her to have a reaction...."

I left this one early, and I am proud of my decision.
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