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My Kid's Principal

 My child's principal developed a kind of cult this year. It happened subtly.


He began to stage assemblies--and he would speak at the start and conclusion of each assembly. He would speak of himself in the third person: "Before this year, the auditorium was neglected. But Mr. Johnson had a vision...."

At the same time, he made himself completely inaccessible by email. He would post "away" messages that neglected to explain when he would return to the office. It almost felt as if a "returning by" date would be beneath him. A few bold moms complained about the "away" messages on Facebook--but other moms bit back. "He is a god. He is literally doing the jobs of four different people...."

When my son graduated from pre-K, Mr. Johnson revealed that he had planned a brief solo musical performance. "I want you to know," he said...

That the children are our future...
Teach them well, and let them lead the way...
Show them all the beauty they possess inside....

I feel like Lisa Simpson, surrounded by mass delusion, in Springfield. Recently, a neighbor began to speak, in a glowing way, about "Dr. Johnson." Dear Lord, I thought, when did the fictional doctorate make its first appearance?

Someone is trying to sell this town a monorail--and, well, me? I'm not buying.

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