My son's behavioral coach has a certain style, which I call "street smarts."
Sometimes, we're all getting sucked into a vortex of bad behavior. The children are fighting about something--say, access to a crushed, filthy bottle cap. There is a strong wish to use reason, appeals to logic--and this never, never works. The coach just suggests a sing-song tone and a change of subject. Change the setting! She is ruthless, in this way.
Also, I find I have an idea of who I "should" be, and this is tiresome. I should be someone who wants to attend the "parent social hour" after Back to School night. I should be someone who schedules FaceTime with my children if I'm away on a trip. The behavioral coach says, "That's all nonsense. Don't go to the social hour, and don't plan FaceTime. A FaceTime session with Papa is just confusing, if you're three years old. And do you want to talk to all those awful parents when you don't *have* to do that? Get real."
The behavioral coach calls to cancel a session. "I have to watch my own daughter in a Pre-K summer camp version of 'The Little Mermaid.'"
"That's adorable!"
"It's really not. It's a chore. What planet are you on?"
She signs off. Like Fraulein Maria, she skips away.
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