My Daughter's Frenemy

 My daughter is under the spell of a charismatic frenemy; let's call her R. I sense danger.

R has strong opinions, and she doesn't withhold them. I get only one side of the story; I get the story that my daughter offers. "R told me that I do not have a mommy." "R said it's *wrong* for me to say that *you* are my mommy."

Some people have a gift for tolerating odd and antagonistic behavior. I remember working for an administrator who had an angry parent on his hands. He shrugged and said, "Let her be angry with me." And this seemed like a magic spell. Could my boss really function in this adult and philosophical way?

I do not have this gift. Lacking a strong sense of self-worth, I very much want to believe that I am in no way causing offense to others around me. So I understand my daughter's anxiety. R feels weird about my daughter's domestic arrangement. How can Susie respond???

It's possible that I'm sort of growing a slightly thicker skin. Recently, I walked my dog, and a stranger stopped me to say, "That's one chunky chubster." I was startled by this inappropriate comment, but I didn't become wounded or peevish. I chuckled in a sort of regal, Martha Stewart style, and I kept moving.

This is what I wish for Susie. It's a long, long road to hoe.