Recently, I attended a neighbor's fiftieth birthday party--and there was a kind of false ebullience. "Fifty and fearless, gurl!" said one guest. "The best is yet to come!"
And I cringed, invisibly, because no one actually believes this. If it were believed, it wouldn't need to be stated. Screaming it to the heavens made me think of Norma Desmond at the end of "Sunset Boulevard": "I've never been happier. I'm just so, so happy!"
A local friend observed that she would spend Valentine's Day with her gal pals: "We're calling it GAL-entine's Day...and we're all writing a love letter....to ourselves!"
In this context, I'm grateful to remember Nora Ephron, who simply stated the truth. One of my favorites of her many moves was her decision to call her penultimate book "I Feel Bad About My Neck."
So I'm tipping a hat to Nora today. Again and again, in the later stages of her career, she worked to make me feel less alone.
When I turned 60, Dan, I proudly said to my sons: "I have entered the third and last chapter of my life !" And I have wonderful news: July 10th I will turn 70 and I have never felt better in my life. Yes, my back hurts when I have to stand up, but Pilates, tennis, long walks, and a judicious diet, have helped my body age well-enough. And when I think of death I do so, of course, with an appropriate measure of anxiety, yet also with as great a measure of curiosity. In sum: "I am ready for my close-up, Mr. Barrett :-) "
ReplyDeleteI think it's possible to feel fine with aging. But I think Nora Ephron captured the truth, which is complicated. "I feel bad about my neck. When I want to antagonize myself, I look in the mirror at my neck.....Yes, I've gained wisdom and maturity with aging....and the ability to recognize what matters in life. And what matters in life is my neck."
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